No Stress.

It's been awhile since I've posted anything. I've been lazy for a few reasons. But mostly, there's just simply not enough time in the day. With school, and friends, and the musical I'm in, I feel like I don't have time for anything. I struggle sometimes to get everything done that is necessary. It's difficult. HOWEVER, today I had a thought:)

Here's how it all started. After seeing a show for one of my classes, I was talking with my friend and complaining about my Book of Mormon class. Don't get me wrong, I love the book, but I want to learn about the history of it, rather than go to class and feel like I'm in Sunday school. At the beginning of each class, we discuss our thoughts on the reading. Usually this takes long enough that we hardly go over the lesson. And usually during class (although I hate to admit it), i don't pay attention. Rather, I read what I need to for my next class. Today was different. I forgot my book. So I was basically forced to pay attention. Somehow we got into a conversation about worrying and stressing out about things. This was the perfect topic for me because I have three essays due tomorrow, one essay due next Tuesday, and two essays due next Thursday. Along with that I have a test next Thursday, and also sometime in the next few weeks, I should find out the results of my MDT (music dance theatre) audition. TALK ABOUT STRESSING OUT!

I felt the need to participate. I told something that my momma always says to me when I get stressed. She tells me to imagine that there is a long white string extending from one corner of the room to the other. Then imagine if i were to take a thin permanent pen and make a tiny dot somewhere along the string. That string represents MY ENTIRE LIFE, and since we'll live for eternity, it extends even further! She explains to me that the small dot that I drew is my entire earth life. THATS TINY! And furthermore, the trials that I may be experiencing at that time are even smaller than the dot. MICROSCOPIC COMPARED TO MY WHOLE LIFETIME! So whatever I may be going through, don't stress because its simply just a blip on the map.

After I made that comment, my teacher told me to write down the things my momma tells me. So I think I might start doing that:)

Also after I made that comment, I pulled out my notebook and started writing down the things that stuck out to me that people said and that I thought. Here they are.

1. Why are we on this earth? Not to get a perfect job, or to be the smartest in our class, not to make a break through in science, not to win prizes, or get rich. Although all those things would be nice, its not the point. We're here to become like Christ, to follow his example and strive for his perfection. To be charitable and loving. So there is no reason for us to get worked up over one bad grade or difficult assignment, because we're on earth to be Christlike, not scholars.

2. Don't Stress, its just a test. Go into tests with that mindset, and you're golden! If you stay relaxed you do better.

3. If you do your part, things will fall into place because the big man upstairs has your back.

4. Count your blessings, not your faults.

5. Take a deep breath in and remind yourself that your lungs still work, your heart is still beating and you have a functioning body. Some people don't have that luxary.

6. Your problems are not the end of the world.

7. Make a list and plan accordingly.

8. Believe it or not, the grades you get in school don't actually affect your Celestial glory. Oh isn't that nice:)

9. Its not about what trials you have, but rather how you respond to them. Earnest Hemingway's idea about being a real man (or woman in my case) is grace under pressure. My teacher admitted to a time that he sort of lost his temper in a pressure situation and how embarrassing it was. All I could think was grace under pressure, man!

10. Remember the atonement of our Savior. He has suffered everything. So we will survive.

11. Keep on keeping on the straight and narrow.

12. Write down the things your momma teaches you.

13. Tell the people you love that you love them. Believe it or not but that is kind of a stress relief.

14. Love your enemies. Since we are here on earth to become like Christ, there is no reason for us to carry the burden of hate around. ALSO if the things that aren't important in your Celestial glory are weighing you down, what better thing is there to do than do something that is important, yes? I agree:)

So those are my thoughts!

NO STRESS PLEASE!

Taking Things for Granted

Why is it that you never realize how important something is until you've lost it? Or at least thats my problem. Clearly I'm just not grateful enough for the things I have when I have them. Recently, one of my best friends disappeared. Okay that's a little harsh. Not disappeared, just left. Time for a new experience. But the point is that me and this friend of mine haven't been in contact for quite awhile. I miss my friend so so much. In fact I have dreams that he or she (I refuse to say which it is) has come back to me and told me that he or she would prefer to never speak to me again. Its sort of heart breaking to imagine that my best friend doesn't want anything to do with me. Now, don't get me wrong, sometimes my dreams are misleading and I'm sure someday I'll talk to this friend again. But for now we just don't have any contact. I've been thinking a lot about how upset this makes me and it occurred to me that I take to many things for granted. Its time to think of the things I have and be grateful.

1. Mom and dad, if you're reading this, know that I'm thinking about you so much right now. I love you both so much and I really am so grateful for all that you've sacrificed for me for the past eighteen years. Both of you have been so perfect for me and I simply haven't loved you back enough. I'm sorry for that, but now you should know how much I absolutely love and adore you both. You are my heroes and I thank you.

2. Shandi, Garrett, and Braeden, you three light up my world. I remember clear experiences when I've been having a hard time and each of you (whether you knew I was struggling or not) lifted me up and told me how much you love me. You all are incredible in your own way and this world is definitely a better place with you on it.

3. I love to dance. Before high school started I danced for quite awhile, until I quit. I missed it so much but was too involved in high school activities that I didn't have time to start up again. More recently, in college I've been taking dance classes again and I love it so much. However, about a week ago I strained my right hip flexor. I can still dance okay, but my right leg has become so weakened by the injury. It hurts to do a lot of things that were so easy to me before. I never realized how much I love dancing and appreciate the use of my limbs until it was taken away. The good thing is that I can repair, but I'll appreciate myself much more now that I know what its like to physically have trouble with my dancing.4. I also love to sing. I've taken vocal lessons for a long time so now I suppose I'm actually pretty decent. More recently, my voice teacher and I have been preparing for my Musical Dance Theatre audition (auditions were held almost a week ago). In my preparation there were a few weeks when I was sick (in December) and I couldn't sing. This was such a struggle for me. With my sore throat almost constantly hurting, any attempt to sing could really damage my vocal cords. I had to completely withdraw myself from singing for awhile. THAT WAS SO DIFFICULT FOR ME! Imagine being told to stop breathing for a few weeks while your lungs had to heal. Thats what it was like. Thank goodness I managed to stay healthy the entire month before my audition!

(This picture was taken when I was actually singing... Thats why I don't look normal)

5. My friends made fun of me today when I told them that I know God exists because the printer worked. But I promise this story is legitimate. The open access printer in my dorm building hasn't been working lately. I had two minutes til I had to leave for class today and I had to get my script printed up. I swiped my card literally twenty times and the printer would not work. Eventually I sucked up my pride and impatience and I said a prayer that this would work. LITERALLY the next swipe of my card worked. That's why I know God exists. I'm so grateful for Him and His son. Without them, I would be nothing.

6. I'm also grateful for airplanes. I know this seems like something odd to blog about, but really. They are so so incredible! I go to school all the way across the country from my family. I needed to go home one weekend, AND I COULD!! This is all because we have airplanes. It bugs me when people complain about delays and discomfort on a plane. JUST BE GRATEFUL YOU CAN FLY!!

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=UN0MpBQG3-E

There's really so many more things that I take for granted in this world, but frankly right now I'm really tired so I'm going to bed. WHICH REMINDS ME!!

I'm thankful for beds, pillows, heating and air conditioning, bathrooms with stalls, plumbing, running water, food, modern technology, modern medicine, knowledge about hygiene, etc.

Forgiveness

I've been thinking over the past few weeks about what it means to truly forgive someone. I mean we hear all this stuff about "forgive and forget" over and over and over. But theres more to forgiving someone than just forgetting what they've done. I think theres a difference between remembering and holding a grudge. So if we forget is it still possible to hold a grudge? Forgiveness is about not only forgetting but also allowing life to go on as it did prior to the offense. The reason I bring this up is because I'm embarking on one of the biggest journeys of my theatrical life!

I recently wrote a ten minute drama for my theatre class at BYU. The essence of the play is to forgive someone no matter what they've done. Basically what happens is a girl has been murdered and she gets to a waiting room in heaven (she's waiting for her 'final judgement') and she meets her murderer (who happened to also die in this event). At first she doesn't know that he killed her. They even become friends. Then he admits to what he's done and begs for forgiveness.

So I wrote this play for my class. We've been split up into groups (everyone wrote a play) and as a group we have to pick someones play to produce. My happy little group selected my play, which I'm extremely excited for. We proceeded to select a director. We picked a boy who I think will do an incredible job. And I'm the stage manager. I've never managed a play before so this is a completely new thing for me and I'm looking forward to it so much! In fact tomorrow in class we're holding our auditions.

On the eve of fully choosing our cast and production team, I've been thinking so much about what prompted me to write his play about the ultimate forgiveness. Perhaps I'm holding grudges that I need to let go of. Perhaps there are things that I've done that I need to seek forgiveness. Either way, I honestly feel that the script was inspired. Part of me feels this way because i actually came up with the show in a dream... yes, my dreams are fairly vivid and could be real life situations. I think I get that from my mom.

Anywho, back to the topic at hand, forgiveness is such a powerful tool. Imagine a world where people forgave others without any question. For me, that's utopia.

The Beginning

So one of my best friends in the whole world does this kind of thing all the time... and by this kind of thing, i mean she blogs all the time. My cousin does this too. And so do some other people i know. I thought perhaps i'd give it a shot, sort of as a release from my ridiculously stressful college life. I'm not an eloquent writer. I wish i was, but i'm not. And i'm not so particular about having perfect grammar. Scratch that. Grammar isn't a big deal to me when its written, but it bugs me when people don't speak with correct grammar. Not sure why theres a difference, but there is. So now that i'm going on an on about things that aren't important, i'm not sure what i'm supposed to do. But since i'm trying something new, i suppose i'll just keep typing... even though probably no one is reading this and i don't know what to write about. I suppose i'll just introduce myself for now. I'm an actress. Or at least i like to say i am. I'm pursuing theatre. But more importantly my family, my friends and my God mean everything to me. Oh and also i love my puppies. Amos and Andy. I suppose they count under family, but really i love them to death. So now that everyone is sufficiently bored, and i'm still unable to think of anything clever to write, i think i'll just finish. so uh bye. Scratch that. I'm posting pictures. Or maybe just picture.. we'll see.

These are my siblings. I love them beyond what anyone could comprehend. And my pups are there too. Andy (or more recently known as Andrew) is the on who is rude enough to yawn during our picture. And Amos is the one who looks like he's eternally glaring. But no worries, he's actually a pretty happy little guy. Then there are my brothers. Garrett is our football star. Such a pro. And Braeden is holding a wii controller because he's sort of a genius at super mario brothers (which by the way, i love playing). Shandi (whom of which is a sister, not a brother) is sitting down with the pups. She should be holding a guitar, or a football players ankle (because she's an athletic trainer) but there was nowhere else to put andrew and amos. Then there's me. Using my phone. Which seems shallow and makes me look sort of like theres nothing else important in my life. I assure you though that my phone is not my top priority. I'd rather sing. I could go on an on talking about my incredible family, except that is only interesting to me. And i can't really post anymore right now because i have to go rent a condo, which i'm beyond excited for!

I promise that I'll try to think of something more inspiring or thought provoking for my next post. Because this one right now is simply the beginning.