This is what really matters.

I haven't written anything on here in awhile.

But I do have a few things on my mind.

1. When it seems like everything is changing... quit worrying about it. Everything probably is changing. There isn't too much you can do about that. Embrace change.. Ultimately you'll be happier if you do.

2. I'm pretty sure I have the most incredible family. On Monday night, my brothers and I had major bonding time. IT WAS AMAZING per usual. I love that they do goofy things with me... like dance around the living room singing "Last Christmas" and have evil laugh competitions:)

3. On top of that, Braeden has an amazing singing voice. And he's willing to sing for people which is awesome. He sang a song at the ward Christmas party. When my dad finally puts it on Youtube I'll post it so everyone can hear how awesome he is.

4. Lets not forget Garrett. He is such a goob. And he always wants to do new things. He's teaching himself how to play the piano. And he's doing fantastic. Oh and also, he's totally ripped. Thank you year-around swim team.

5. I am probably the most indecisive person when it comes to choosing a future. I've gone back and forth between majors every few weeks since I was in high school. And when I pick a new major I get so excited and I always tell everyone about it. However, finally I have come to a conclusion. This took a lot of research and debate with myself and I've finally figured it out. I PROMISE IT WONT CHANGE!

I'm majoring in Sociology and focusing on the study of crime and juvenile delinquency.

Kind of a big change from acting, yes?

Good thing theatre can be a hobby without being a lifestyle!

Basically.. life is good:)

And I'm happy. That's all that matters!

*Currently listening to "If my Heart was a House" by Owl City

Killer.

I had a BIZARRE dream last night.

typical.

I was ten and I was talking to my biological mother. (She was my biological mother in my dream, but not my real mom.) She told me that she was leaving me, but she had to tell me about a mistake she made first. I just looked at her confused. She explained to me that she had special powers and that she made a mistake. She accidentally put a curse on me. Because of this curse, I can't control my emotions. And not only that, but if I get angry enough I would kill people and I can't stop it. She also told me that I have an extreme amount of strength, but I was cursed to be a killer for the rest of my life. She warned me to try stay in areas where I wouldn't be too bothered so that I wouldn't get angry. She also told me that she made the mistake of cursing me with vampirical tendencies after a kill, but that those tendencies aren't for survival. (In other words, I'm completely human, but after my emotions get the best of me and I kill someone, I will probably want to drink their blood.) Then she said goodbye and that she'd arranged for me to be adopted into a good family. She left.

I was not only really confused by what she had revealed, but pretty upset. As I continued to think about my new circumstances and the fact that my mom left me, I got angrier and angrier. I killed my first person that day. And although my head was saying this is really terrible, micaela, stop, I couldn't help myself. After one kill, I buried the body and moved in with my new family.

Then my dream flashed forward to real time (except I was actually about sixteen). My family (as in my real family that exists with me in real life) and I lived in a small town where everyone knows everyone. After school I worked in a warehouse by a river. I hadn't killed in a few years and my parents had no idea about my curse. However, one day, one of my coworkers (I think his name was Bill) came into the warehouse and started to pick on me. Bill was forty. He was kind of large and would be easy to take down. I tried to fight it. Eventually though, my emotions got the best of me. I jumped onto him and twisted his head off easily. I couldn't leave work to dispose of the body so I climbed up the wall and hid him on top of some boxes above the rafters. Days later, people noticed Bill was missing. People asked me if I knew where he was because I work with him. I lied and said no, but I knew Bill was still above the rafters. Later, I was working and Bill's twin came into the warehouse. He asked if I'd seen Bill. I told him no. He told me that he had a haunch that Bill was hidden somewhere in the warehouse. He said he was leaving to go get a search team to look around. This made me angry because I knew I'd be caught if I let him leave. I told him I'd open the door for him. When I went to the door, I locked it instead. Then I turned around and spitefully told him how his brother died. Thats when I killed him. I hid him up in the rafters next to his brother.

Later I realized it was time to dispose of the bodies. I found these two boxes for huge nerf guns in the warehouse. I took the guns out and put the bodies in. Then I took them all home in my truck. I went into my house and I told my mom that I needed to tell her something. I proceeded to tell her about the curse and what I had done. I told her that I really didn't mean to hurt anybody, but I had no control over myself. She sat in shock for a second, but then she hugged me and told me she would do whatever she had to to protect me and my secret. I brought the bodies inside because she said we'd bury them that night. Then we gathered my family together and told them about my curse. They all promised to protect me. We went outside because we heard a car pulling up. The mayor of our town got out. She asked if I had seen Bill. I said no. Then she asked if the nerf guns in my truck were from the warehouse. I told her they were, but I didn't know where the boxes were. Then she said that she was gonna have to take me in. She said people suspected me of killing Bill and his brother. I was gonna be put on trial and found guilty.

Thats when I ran. I didn't want to kill anymore. I especially didn't want to kill in front of my family. While I ran, the mayor went back to the police station to get people to look for me. My mom called me and told me to hide. She said she'd bury the bodies tonight and that they'd find me and we'd all sneak out together, but for now I needed to hide because the town was closed down and I wouldn't be able to get out.

That scared me. I realized then that I was gonna be caught. I knew I could easily kill the whole town to protect myself, but I knew then my family wouldn't want me anymore which would make me mad. I realized that the outcome of my life was gonna be to kill my family, the only people who cared about me. I cried because I didn't want to do this but I had no choice.

That's when I woke up.

*Currently listening to "Whip my Hair" by Willow Smith

Regina, Regina

start it already!

I love Regina. Enough said. Every time I hear this song I'll start dancing... No questions asked.

I also love this video. And I couldn't NOT put it up.

She's just awesome.

World News

"Ignorance is bliss."

People say that all the time. In fact, I used to be one of those people until I had to do a geography project about a region of the world. Over the past semester I've been reading newspaper articles about the things that are happening in Pakistan. Unfortunately for the people of Pakistan, ignorance isn't bliss. Ignorance could likely get them killed.

I've read so many articles, but here are two that I found important.

Suicide Blasts Strike Tribal Pakistan

Here's a Woman Fighting Terrorism

Both of these articles are informative. The second one I particularly like because it shows some hope during a stressful time in Pakistan. Please read them and break your habit of ignorance the way I had to.

*Currently listening to the whir of my computer.

Not to be a pessimist or anything...

BUT I STINK AT SCHOOL.

I found out today what the set up of my geography final is. It's going to be killer. So obviously I should be studying/attempting to learn what was discussed in class while I was asleep.

But I'm not. Instead I'm blogging/ reading Anna's blog.

That's why I'm bound to fail that test.

Also I haven't paid much attention in my statistics class. The stuff I did pay attention to, I thought I understood, but apparently I don't. Clearly, I should be studying for that.

But I'm not. Instead I'm blogging/ reading Anna's blog.

That's why I'm bound to fail that test.

It really make me mad when I slack in school because I used to work so hard.

Okay, I need to throw some optimism in this post so that I don't pull my hair out.

At least I work harder/am doing better than I did last year.

Thank goodness I don't need to know statistics to be a good actress.

K bye.

*Currently listening to "Carol of The Bells" by Mannheim Steamroller

I'm and Iron Chef

There is only one thing you should know about me.

I CAN'T COOK TO SAVE MY LIFE.

enough said.

But really. Ask my roommate. When we first got out here, I wanted to impress her with my baking skills. So I got a brownie recipe from my mom and attempted to make brownies from scratch.

The key word in this story is attempted.

It was pretty disgusting to say the least. And that's saying a lot considering i'll eat anything.

So now, all I eat is packaged stuff.. (Ramen Noodles). I'm a typical college student... clearly. Today I decided to change it up a bit. Here's the story:

I make a killer red sauce for spaghetti. It's a recipe I stole from my mom (who stole it from her friend). But I didn't want to make red sauce tonight, because I didn't want spaghetti.

I did want pasta though.

I made pasta shells. I needed to think of something to put on them.

So I decided to improvise.

I sauteed mushrooms in olive oil and covered them in salt and Italian seasoning.

After the pasta was done, I coated it in my simple spread.

As you can imagine, the finished product was actually kind of boring.

I came to a few conclusions about what to change.

1. It needs more salt/Italian seasoning.

2. I should sautee onions along with the mushrooms.

3. I should mix up the olive oil/ seasoning before I put everything in the skillet.

4. Perhaps I should put chicken or sausage in the sauce.

5. It needs cheese.

6. Perhaps it could use some other things added to the seasoning blend.

So here's what I've decided. I'm going to perfect the recipe. I'll try different pasta. I'll try baking it. I'll try adding tomatoes. I am going to try all kinds of combinations to make this perfect. I'll keep you posted obviously.

The moral of the story is to try new things. Maybe someday I will be the next Iron Chef!

*Currently listening to "The Sword & The Pen" by Regina Spektor

This is a new level of ridiculous.

The other night I had a dream.

Dwight K Schrute asked me to marry him.

REALLY MICAELA!! THIS IS WHAT YOUR DREAMING ABOUT?!?!

So this is how it happened. Dwight and I were really good friends. We hung out a few times. Then one day while we were hanging out he pulled out a ring and proposed. I was SHOCKED! Obviously, I didn't love him!! But it was seriously the most beautiful ring of my life. I loved the ring so much that I told him I'd think about it at work. While I was at the testing center [which is where I work], my roommate told me that obviously I couldn't marry him because IT'S DWIGHT! I agreed eventually, arguing that the ring was so perfect. I wanted to marry the ring.

Then Dwight came in to take a test. When I handed him the test, I gave him the ring back with it and told him that it was so clear to me that I didn't want to marry him. He was upset because now he was gonna do badly on his test.

Then the next boy came up to get a test and he said

"Did I really just hear you tell Dwight that you wouldn't marry him?"

"Yes."

"Good. Wanna go out this Friday?"

That's when I woke up.

Relocated

Dear lovely people,

My new found love, Frank Friday, has moved. No longer does he abide in this abode. It's just time to move onto better things, I guess. However, he does love visitors as much as I do. Check him out at his new home. I think that'd be much appreciated.

Love,

Lovely person.

The Key is Optimism!

I decided today that no matter what happens to me in life, I'm going to be happy. I refuse to be a negative nancy. You're probably wondering what brought about this sudden resolve for optimism. It's just something I've been thinking about lately, I guess.

Last year in school I wasn't always the happiest person. I was often pessimistic. I complained about cold weather. I complained about classes. I complained about boys. I don't know how I had friends. I wouldn't have been friends with me.

This year, however, I've been much happier. I was diagnosing my change in viewpoint. I think it might have a lot to do with where I live and who I spend my time with.

I don't complain about those things anymore.

Why should I complain about cold weather? Just bundle up more, silly. I love snow and I can't have snow unless it's cold outside. Besides, after tap class I welcome the cold!

I don't complain about classes anymore because I've learned that if I want to do well I should sleep at night and work/play during the day. IMAGINE THAT!

I don't complain about boys anymore because it isn't fair. They're only human. And trust me, they find us just as frustrating as we do them.

After I decided this all today, I took the trash out. On my way back I saw a girl who needed help with her groceries. She didn't see me. At first I ignored her and started to walk away. Then I thought "You idiot! Go help her!" That's when I turned around to help her. Not only did I feel good about what I did, but I made a new friend!

We should all be more like this guy!

"I did not provoke the fight, so I feel no remorse for what i was forced to do. We were arguing, and seeing that I was right and he was wrong, he decided to fight to cover his stupidity.

He swung at me first but being in the top of condition, I was able to block the punch neatly with my head. Whereupon I jumped to the ground, knocking him down on top of me. Then I placed my ear in his mouth and poked his finger several times with my eye. His teeth hurt so from the strength of my ear that he became irate and tried to kick me. But I cleverly blocked the onslaught with my ribs and face.

I scrambled to my feet and ran to my car in the hopes that I could get away and save this man from my deadly hands. Before I could start the car, he pulled me from the still open door. I then proceeded to swing at him, but only managed to hit myself in the head. To this I said, "What is this, two against one?"

That was the final straw- I lost all control. There will be no mercy!!! Taking him in my death grip, I pounded him in the knee with my stomach. Then I hit him two or three times in the fist with my teeth. He had had it. I could tell. After that he didn't even try to pick me up off the ground. He was too chicken."

Frank Fridays

I feel like I'm turning into the Kron family's adopted sister.

Here's how it began.

Ruth started "Wordless Wednesdays" for her blog.

Then Sarah (my roommate/direct link to the inner workings of the Kron family) began "Tickle me Thursdays."

Last night Sarah told me that Anne started up "Spontaneous Sundays" and Daniel began "Musical Mondays."

SHE TOLD ME THAT OBVIOUSLY I HAVE TO JOIN IN THE FUN!

So now begins Frank Fridays. Here's where I say exactly what I'm thinking about something specific with COMPLETE HONESTY!

Texting while driving.

So I was on my way to my voice lesson today and there was a bit of traffic. I looked over at the car next to me because her reactions were super delayed and it was making me nervous. SHE WAS TEXTING!

Hello people! Do you not realize how stupid this is?

My friend back home wrote a persuasive paper on this subject. Studies show that people who text and drive are equally, if not more delayed in their reaction time as those who have been drinking.

PEOPLE DIE FROM TEXTING AND DRIVING!

Unless you want to end up in a car that now looks like this, please be safe and don't text and drive. Life isn't too short, but it will be if you aren't safe. Nothing is so urgent that you should put yours and other people's lives in danger to fix it. Pull over and deal with your business off the road.

Inception meets anchorman.

I had probably one of my most confusing dreams of my life last night.

It was absolutely wonderful!

For the first part, I was an outsider looking in.

There was a reporter. She looked a lot like me, but not exactly. She was thin and blonde, but definitely taller than me. And she was much prettier. This reporter had a mentor. The mentor had short brown curly hair. She was fairly short herself and also kind of plump. Not huge, but not particularly thin either. They didn't work for any news station. The mentor used to be great, but she sort of fell off the map. This young reporter wanted to make it big so the two of them would run around chasing stories so that maybe one day her dream would come true. They got a tip about a haunted house in the middle of nowhere and they decided to check it out.

The two of them went to this house in the middle of nowhere. Just by looking at this place you would never guess that it was haunted. It was fairly large and extremely colorful! In fact it looked fake because there was so much color. The young reporter decided that it didn't look haunted, but since they got a tip from a good source they should check it out. There's bound to be a good story behind this place. They walk up and knock on the front door. A beautiful woman answers. She was wearing a nice shirt and jeans and and apron. She was holding a bowl and plastic spoon and mixing something to put in the oven later. The reporter told her that they received a tip about this house being haunted and asked if she was the resident of this place. The beautiful woman responded that she was and said she had a roommate. A man appears behind her. He looked exactly like George from Grey's Anatomy. The reporter asked if he noticed anything haunted about the house. He said sometimes his stuff goes missing, but that's probably his own fault. Other than that, everything is fine.

The reporters asked to have a look around. The two residents welcome them in. Everything is colorful. All of the walls are painted a different color. Literally the only thing white in this place was the beautiful woman's plastic spoon. But even that looked sort of blue. Something else weird about this place was that everything was blurry. Nothing really had any definite shape. For example I could be standing in the kitchen and looking at the stove. I know that it's a stove and it sort of has the outline of a stove but it doesn't REALLY look like a stove. It also happens to be pink. Everything was blurry and indistinct like this. Not everything was pink though. The reporter began snapping pictures, although nothing really showed up in the pictures because everything was SO blurry. They continued exploring other rooms in the house.

For the next part I am seeing from George's point of view.

I [George] am huddled in the corner of my room, shaking. I'm scared because there is someone after me. Suddenly I see a vertical strip in the wall become extra blurry and I see my roommate run through the wall. She is charging after me holding the plastic spoon from before. She screams and slashes the spoon through my body. I look down and see my stomach become blurry like everything else. Then I feel like I'm falling. When I land I am standing in the most colorful place on earth. I am at a park and there are children and families running around. Everyone is so happy. I forget everything that just happened and everyone in the life before I was here. I introduce myself to someone and join in on a picnic.

[This place is sort of like limbo from inception except MUCH MUCH more colorful and there are so many people here.]

For the next part I am seeing from the point of view of the young reporter.

My mentor is not with me. I am yelling at a man in a news room. I tell him that we need to check out this house more in depth. I tell him that there is a woman there who can walk through walls and is attacking anyone who knows about her. She attacks with a plastic spoon and when she slashes people she sends them to another world where they forget everything about her and begin a new life. I tell him that her roommate's life is in danger. The man calmly tells me to get in touch with her roommate and have him confirm my story. I tell him I can't because he's already missing. The man tells me that I should move on to doing other things and forget all about this story. I argue that my life is in danger now too. He dismisses me and kicks me out of his office.

For the next part of the story I am an outsider looking in.

We're back in limbo. I look to see George talking to the mentor. They are discussing how they recognize each other but they have no idea at all where from.

Then during this scene I switch to George's point of view.

I look over and see a beautiful woman appear from a hole in the atmosphere. I don't recognize her at first, but then I realize that it's my roommate, the woman who attacked me and sent me here. Suddenly everything about my past life comes back to me. She comes at me with her plastic spoon. [Apparently she was going to send me to a new limbo before the young reporter can come down here and save us all. I'm not sure how I know that.] I grab a book that happens to be on the bench next to me. As she charges I hold out the book and stab it right through her stomach. I twist it. Then I pull it out. I repeat this hoping that it will help me. As I stab and twist I see her face distorting.

Then I woke up.

Dedicated to my roommate...

I don't actually think you're Satan.

most of the time.

JUST KIDDING!! you are wonderful.

For all of you reading this, i have the greatest roommate in the world. But I'm mean to her when I sleep. Last night she came to bed two hours after I went to bed. While she was kneeling on her bed praying I began this conversation with her.

[note: I was completely incoherent because I WAS ACTUALLY ASLEEP!! but I do recall this happening and I asked her about it later.]

"Are you standing on your bed?"

She said "No."

"Oh. You look like an angel right now. Except not because you're actually SATAN!"

Then I rolled over away from her.

"By the way. I lost my phone."

Then I fell back asleep.

I'm sorry, Sarah. I LOVE YOU AND YOU ARE NOT SATAN!!!

I am quite possibly the most awkward person alive.

I think I qualify as the most uncomfortable person ever created.

Here's some background to the story.

Last year, I had the most beautiful TA for one of my classes. [Lets call him Charlie.] I was basically in love with him because he was the MOST attractive man I have ever seen [to this day, I still believe that]. He told my lab class that he was supposed to graduate in April. So after the class was over I knew I'd never get to see him again.

Unfortunate, but really no big deal.

I was talking to my friend awhile after the semester ended and she thought that I wouldn't have the courage to ask him out. So OBVIOUSLY I had to do it.

idiot.

I emailed him and told him about the bet and asked him out. Obviously he didn't respond. THAT'S CREEPY!!!

AWKWARD EXPERIENCE NUMBER ONE

Today, my roommate and I were getting ready for work. I was frantically brushing my teeth because we were late and spit started coming out of my mouth, so I jumped back to let it land on the ground. It did.

But not completely.

When I got to work, I realized the drip of dried toothpaste on my shirt. I showed my coworker and he just laughed. He said that he wouldn't have even noticed until I pointed it out.

AWKWARD EXPERIENCE NUMBER TWO

I was working at the printer today so I gave bubble sheets and cover sheets to all the students taking tests. I looked down at a particular Scranton, read the name, and IT BELONGED TO NONE OTHER THAN THE MOST BEAUTIFUL TA I'VE EVER ENCOUNTERED!!

I looked up at him, hoping that he wouldn't remember the email. Who knows if he did. But he recognized me. I asked why he hadn't graduated yet and he told me that he does in April [apparently I got the date wrong]. Then he asked how my day went. Our conversation went as follows.

"Oh it was fine, I guess. Except while I was getting ready for work I totally spilled toothpaste all over my shirt and didn't notice until I got here. It was long and cold."

"The toothpaste was long and cold?"

"No. The day."

He laughed. I handed him his test and awkwardly laughed realizing that my face was BRIGHT PINK! I have no filter.

My coworker that had already laughed at me asked what that was all about. I told him the story and he proceeded to tell the girl he was getting a test for the story of my embarrassment. Jerk.

Could my day get anymore embarrassing?

yes. OBVIOUSLY!

AWKWARD EXPERIENCE NUMBER THREE

It was time to warn the people downstairs that there were only fifteen minutes left to check out tests. I got on the loudspeaker and said "Attention, students, there are only fifteen minutes left to check out a test. Please plan your cord a-time-ingly."

One good thing happened though. I helped catch someone cheating so I get to add another star to my name tag!

My Subconscious Tale

I have finally had the privilege of remembering my dream last night! Its been awhile. I was so excited to wake up and remember my dream that I told it to my sister right away so I wouldn't forget what I had imagined.

I work at the testing center at school. In my dream it was about 12:30pm and I was finally on my way home from work. I was walking with three of my coworkers [two boys and a girl]. I've never seen these people before in my life, but in my dream we were really good friends. In fact, the girl is my roommate, Sarah, [she just didn't look like my roommate does in real life]. We were walking along the streets in Provo to get home when we saw a boy. He had a huge cart [like the kind you find at Lowes to haul doors and other wood]. On the cart were three HUGE barrels. He was pushing the cart down the sidewalk. My friends and I caught up to him and asked what he was up to.

"Are you the police?" He responded.

"No." Said my friends looking suspicious.

"Oh thank goodness! This is beer. There's a party down the street and I have to get these there before people show up." He said.

I looked up at him. "I'm a cop." I said.

Immediately he started running. I chased after him. When I caught up I grabbed him. He struggled to get away, but had no luck. [I have a tight grip in my dreams.]

"I was kidding," I said. "I'm not a cop. I work at the testing center."

We went back over to my friends and the barrels of alcohol.

"Do you mind helping me get this to the house? You're welcome to come to the party after." He asked.

My roommate responded, "Well we're Mormons so we don't drink alcohol, and its late so we're not going to the party. But I guess we can help you get it there. You should know though that we're not condoning drinking just because we're helping you."

We all put our hands on the cart and pushed it another block to the house with the party. When we got there we helped put it up on the front porch. Right when we finished the cops pulled up. We were caught. The boy ran as fast as he could away from the situation. The cops didn't chase him. Instead they began walking towards us to arrest us. Suddenly the barrels of alcohol exploded. The house exploded to. Then one by one all of the houses along the street were blowing up. Casualties were flying everywhere. Everything was on fire. I was knocked onto the ground away from my friends.

An hour elapsed.

All of the houses were burning. Everything was burning except for a few pathways where people were walking trying to find there friends to get to safety. I got up off the ground and started to look for Sarah.

I woke up while I was looking for her.

The Phone Call

Its my grandma's birthday today.

So I called her.

She didn't answer so I left a message.

"Hey grandma, it's Micaela, I'm just calling because it's you're birthday and I wanted to wish you a happy one! Also I wanted to see how grandpa's doing post surgery. I'm heading to class in a few minutes and I won't be home til seven so you can call me back after then. If I don't answer its because I'm on the phone with my momma, but I'll get back to you. Okay, happy birthday. Love you, bye!"

Five minutes later I get a text message.

"You have the wrong number."

OH THATS EMBARRASSING!

Dreams...

"... feel real while we're in them.

It's only when we wake up that

we realize something was actually strange."

I was at a "party" at a huge house with a bunch of people. Some of them I knew, but most of them were strangers to me. At this so called party, a man whose name I don't remember took it upon himself to teach us all how you should dance at a party. HE HAD A POWER POINT AND EVERYTHING FOR THIS LESSON! I don't remember much of the lesson, but I do remember him saying to disconnect your arms from your body and let them hang loose as if only skin is holding them there. (weird.) He also said that the key to better dancing is baggy clothing. He made us practice dancing and he came around and gave us pointers while we shook and slid around the room. Most people left at this point, including myself. I moved on to playing this game where you run around this maze and shoot people with a laser gun. I guess you could call this laser tag, except that it wasn't your typical laser tag game. We didn't have any lights strapped to us to shoot. Instead when you were shot you would die temporarily. When you woke up you were in a new spot and it was a new game. We played this quite a few times and as we played people came up with new tactics to beat me. (My game plan was to just run right up to people and shoot them before they could react.) They got pencils to stab me with when I would sneak attack. (I know this is morbid, but I have no control over what goes on while I sleep.) I quit playing after the first time I got stabbed because it hurt so bad!

The next thing I remember is dancing in the kitchen with a few other kids. A song came on that people who weren't dancing didn't like, but we turned it up because it wasn't up to them what we danced to.

After that, I was in my own house talking to my sister. She said she had something important to do. She said she had to go over to the Caron's house (they live right down the street from me) and warn Joe (my brothers best friend). It was eleven at night. There was no way I was letting her go now. But she said it was important that Joe wouldn't conform and turn his music down during the day. I didn't know why or even really care, so I just let her go. As I watched her walk away, she turned into a lion. After a few hours she still wasn't back. I checked the clock and it was four in the morning. I decided that I had to go get her. So I walked to the Caron's house and snuck in. I walked upstairs and what I found shocked me. My friend from Utah, who the Caron's don't know, was sleeping in their house. I woke him up to find out what he was doing there. He told me that he just got back from his mission and he was having trouble sleeping, so the Caron's took him in. But he said I shouldn't be there because Mrs. Caron had him on a strict sleeping pattern and if she found me, she would lock me away. I told him that I had to find my sister and he said that she was still talking to Joe and that I shouldn't worry. As I was about to leave, I heard Mrs. Caron coming. I jumped into the bathroom really quick and hid behind the door. But there was a trash back on the door handle that wouldn't stop moving. As Mrs. Caron explored the room, I knew she suspected something was wrong. So I came out of hiding and began to explain myself.

Then I felt the pain in my side return from when I was stabbed and it hurt so bad that it woke me up.

Rear view mirror.

I'm in a car packed with all of my lessons

learned and sentimental memories,

and I'm told that its time to leave.

But I'm not ready yet.

In the glove compartment are all of

my unanswered questions and a few regrets.

Still, I'm told I have to go.

Lock those away and forget them, I'm told.

Painfully I accept, and I lock the glove compartment.

Can't I have just one last hug?

How come I have to go so soon?

I'm told that it'll be better this way.

The door is closed without that hug.

I'm told to leave, but I don't want to lose sight.

I look back in the rear view mirror

hoping for a wave goodbye.

Instead, it turns out that I'm not the one leaving first.

I watch you walk away and turn the corner out of sight.

I sit for awhile hoping that its not really time yet.

But nothing ever changes.

I'm forgotten now.

So I guess its time for me to try to forget.

I tear off the rear view mirrors and begin to drive away.

I drive slow at first, but then my anger overcomes me and I speed up.

I roll down

the windows

and open the

glove compartment

to let my unanswered

questions fly away.

I just go on forever.

I can't see behind me anymore but I can still remember.

I'll never forget.

I'll never know that

you didn't leave completely.

You were hiding

behind the corner,

out of sight.

You'll never know that

there is still one unanswered

question that wouldn't fly away.

Why did you make me go?

Maybe someday you'll get in your car and try to catch up with me.

Two Years...

I miss a missionary.

He's only been out for three and a half months.

I'm so proud of him, and the work he's doing.

I know this is selfish of me, but I just wanna see him again now.

[Then I would send him back.]

But it doesn't work that way.

Not Suitable For Children.

Just when I thought my subconscious couldn't get any weirder, I had another dream.

I was a man. And I was an adult. And I had a son. But thats not really important.

My family was at a reunion on my mom's side. We were in a cabin on a cliff, and it was dangerous to go out back because there was no fence stopping you from sliding off to your death. My cousins Aaron and Adam were telling my sister about how theres this road a little way away from the cabin that is famous for being the most dangerous road to drive down. This road has a beginning and an end. At the beginning there is a parking lot and you can't see the road because it is over the cliff. There are trees all around it and the road is just over the edge. Its so steep that even if you press on your breaks the whole time you'll still go really fast down the road. No one drives up it because that would be impossible. The trees all around it have branches poking out that you have to dodge. People win awards for making it through the road alive. But most people don't make it. At the end of the road is another cliff that you fall off of and land in a huge lake. Before you land in the lake you're supposed to get out of the car so that you don't hit the water in the car because then you die. Because of this, people drive down the road without their seat belts on to make for an easy exit when you get to the end. Even this part is dangerous too because if you land in the wrong place you'll die in the rocks. My sister decided to drive it. I stayed in the house and waited. A little while later she came inside excited because she did it! She drove down the road, dodged all the branches, and got out of the car during the fall! She was soaking wet from landing in the water.

I decided to drive the road also. I hiked up to the parking lot and got a car that I was going to drive. I came just in time because people were lined up to drive the road and we all decided that we were gonna time ourselves to see who could do it the fastest. I was first to go. I got in my car and went over the edge. I was going so fast that I didn't really have the chance to think about what was happening. Saying that there were a few branches sticking out was an understatement. There were A TON! And they were huge with sharpened tips. I was driving and dodging things and getting closer and closer to making it to the drop off. Suddenly I hit a branch on the left. My car started spinning out of control and I flew out and impaled myself on a branch hanging right out over the drop off. It didn't kill me though and I just stayed there hanging over the the drop off with a branch through my stomach. I heard the next car coming down. Right as he drove off the cliff he jumped out of the car. He had made it and I was gonna lay there and die on this branch. Then I saw the guy down at the bottom climb out of the water and pull out his phone. A few seconds later there was a helicopter with a guy hanging down to get me. He cut off the branch and they brought me to the ER where they saved my life. The rest of the reunion I could hardly move or breathe and my son clung to my side because he thought I had died and didn't want to lose me again.

Rude, Crude, and Socially Unacceptable

So I ticked off a customer yesterday.

Okay let me rewind. I've been taught pretty good manners from my parents and I know that its wrong to be rude to strangers... or people in general really. That being said, I never purposefully say things to offend people. At work I'm actually really good with customers and most of the people I interact with seem to enjoy our conversation. I'm also pretty good when situations become tense or uncomfortable. When that happens its my instinct to make a joke or something in order to make people laugh. Thats how I've always been and how I react. For the most part when I make people laugh during the discomfort, they always appreciate it. But last night I encountered someone who clearly didn't appreciate my humor.

I was getting a to go box/ cup for soup for this woman, and this man came up who was probably in his fifties.

He comes up and really angrily says "Are you guys short of help or something?!"

[First problem, he expects that we already know what the problem is, and instead of asking nicely for something he just gets angry.]

I looked up at him and said "I'm sorry sir, can I get you something?"

He reacted angrily again. "You ran out of napkins!"

[Second problem, he said it as if I knew. Well, sir, if I knew already, then we wouldn't be having this conversation.]

I began to say "I apologize for that I'll be out there in just a sec to fix the problem."

He interrupted me and said "There's also no paper towels in the men's bathroom!"

[Third problem, he wasn't willing to accept my apology, instead, he just interrupted to complain about something else.]

Recognizing a tense situation my instinct kicked in. I smiled and laughingly [and by that I mean more of a giggle rather than a full on laugh] I said "Oh sorry I haven't been in the men's room recently so I didn't know, but I'll make sure we get some!"

He mumbled something while he walked away.

While I was restocking the napkins for this guy, his daughter who was probably in her twenties and just in general had a bad attitude walked right up to me. I turned to her and said "Hi, can I get you something?" [If I was going to complain to someone and they talked to me like that, it would lighten my mood, but apparently she has anger problems... which probably explains why she hangs out with her old parents instead of people her own age.]

She yelled "Please, don't be so rude when you're talking to people!"

I looked up and began to apologize if I had offended anyone when she walked away.

So that's my story. I don't understand people.

Why do people get offended so easily?

Why do people complain about everything?

Why are people so lazy?

Why are people so dirty? I had to clean the dining room for closing, and I swear there was trash everywhere. If I drop a napkin, I pick it up. Apparently when other people drop a napkin they throw more on the ground to keep it company.

Also for the men, why do ya'll pee everywhere? Because I cleaned dining I had to mop up the bathrooms. DON'T MISS THE URINAL!!

Anyway, customers are stupid. I don't mean to offend, but some people are just quick to jump to the conclusion that I'm a terrible person and all I want to do is upset people. If that was true, I would have become a telemarketer.

Stupid.

[R]apid [E]ye [M]ovement

It pleases me greatly to announce that I've had yet another crazy dream to add to my list of subconscious motion pictures.

I was with five of my friends [Macey, Sarah, Haylee, Shandi, and some chick I've never seen before, but I'm positive we were close]. The six of us (who are all in college) were first in line to go see this sixth grade play. My friends were are thrilled, but I quite honestly was embarrassed to be there because I didn't want people I knew to see me in line to hang out with a bunch of elementary school kids. The play was in a cafeteria and the stage along with the area for the seats was blocked off by hedges with one entrance. When we got there the seats hadn't even been set up yet but I saw a bunch of random people I knew in high school setting up for the event. When the chairs were finally set up we sat in the front row. [Only six chairs across]. This event was quite exclusive considering that there were only about 30 seats. NO PARENTS ALLOWED. The stage wasn't really a stage either. There was a long fence built replacing one of the walls of hedges. There was a canopy attached to the fence to keep the actors dry in case of rain [even though we were inside]. The play began. The class of kids walked in and each took their place sitting on the fence. They all began saying there lines and a few of them, I noticed, had real potential as actors. But most of them were too quiet to hear. I don't remember what the play was about, but I remember some of the characters: a married couple, a Mormon girl, and a bunch of random children that all had really really terrible things going on in their lives. And by terrible I mean beaten, emaciated, or just unloved in general. I couldn't understand the plot because I only heard a few lines. Suddenly their teacher yelled out to them all that we couldn't hear them and so they were fired. They all sunk their heads and walked out of the hedged off area. A completely new cast came in to pick up where they left off. Then there was a break in time and I was sitting on the fence watching the play from on stage. In fact I wasn't just watching... I WAS IN IT! At least I think I was because I had lines. Also another thing had changed. We weren't in the cafeteria anymore. The hedged/fenced off area and everything in it was floating high in the sky over Taiwan. We were quickly moving further east. It appeared that we had begun to orbit the earth. The view was gorgeous. There were colors and clouds all around us. WE LITERALLY WERE IN A RAINBOW. My friends who were still there [now consisting of only Shandi, Sarah, and the new girl] and myself decided that this probably wasn't the best place for us to be. We pulled one of the actors in the play off stage and into the corner of the room. This actor was HUGE. He was about six and a half feet tall and extremely fat. We told him that we needed to get back on dry land. He said he might be able to help. Then he laid on his stomach and we all climbed onto his back. He pushed his body with his arms and launched himself [with us on top] right through the hedge and into the sky. We soared for a few minutes then landed in this really soft black sand. The sand was warm on our feet. We dug our toes into it when we realized it was only and inch deep. Underneath the sand was a layer of really soft plastic. The plastic was different colors and the colors were moving. If you pushed some of the sand aside it would flow right back to where it was. We made sand angels and rolled around in it revealing the colors beneath us for only a few seconds before the sand moved back. It was fun, but ultimately we knew we had to get home. Unfortunately the fat child [who was laying and basking in the sun] hadn't brought us to just dry land, he brought us to a completely different planet. He wouldn't take us back to earth so we stayed there and made sand angels hoping that someone would see the colors and come get us.

The end.

I promise I'm not on drugs. I just have really ridiculous thoughts.

Rain rain go away...

Come again when I'm not driving please.

I love you, but I love me too so I don't want to die.

K thanks.

[untitled]

I haven't blogged recently.

And it isn't that I haven't wanted to.

Or that I haven't had anything to write either.

No really I think of some really great things that I'd love to blog about and I open up a page to start writing and I just can't think of the perfect title, or how to start. Then after a few minutes of just sitting and staring at my computer, I realize that I'm kind of tired. So I take a nap instead.

So there is much to say. And since I don't want to take up a lot of space I'll tell everything that I could have possible wanted to blog about in one sentence. I hope that I can capture the AWESOMENESS of all the unfinished/unstarted blogs that I've tried to write in just one sentence!

1. I don't ever take risks, and I'm tired of playing it safe in the game of life, therefore I've decided to stop quitting the things I'm passionate about and to be a theatre education major, and I know that it seems like I change my major all the time, but this is reality now; this is what I want to do!

2. I spend most of my time worrying about money and what how I'm going to set a budget next year because when it comes to finances I'm completely clueless; as of right now I'm still really worried about paying for school.

3. I was hired to work at the testing center at BYU and I'm so excited because that is MY FAVORITE BUILDING ON CAMPUS; people think that its weird that I love it so much.

4. I want to learn Spanish.

5. I donated blood again and I felt incredible afterwards per usual.

6. I love shoes.

7. I wish I kept in touch with people better.

8. Two years is a long time, and to me it feels even longer.

9. There is someone out there, who I can't mention by name, that I REALLY REALLY dislike.

10. I recently had a family reunion with my dad's side of the family and it was such an incredible experience to see my cousins again; we had such a great time.

11. Today I had to go to driver improvement class so that I wouldn't get my license suspended, and even though it was long and boring, it turned out to be great because I met one of the newest Redskins football players and got his autograph for my brother.

Thats pretty much it. Happy summer!

I'm on a boat.

Back in the late eighties and the nineties my mom's side of the family used to have reunions at Lake Powell. We owned a house boat that we'd all pile in and stay for a few weeks. I was still really young when we stopped the reunions, but I still have some fond memories of the good times.

Today I was organizing our movies and I found A TON of video tapes from the family reunions. I found one that said LAKE POWELL 1994. I immediately quit the task ahead of me and ran upstairs. I blew the dust off the tape and popped it into the VHS. The first fifteen minutes was an edited slide show of video from the trip set to music from The Lion King. Next was almost three hours of all the video taken. After about 45 minutes I had to get back to work. But for awhile I watched the show, and my mom watched some with me.

NOW BOTH OF US ARE DYING TO GO BACK!!

Watching the tape made me laugh. There are a few things that haven't changed.

1. my sister still eats watermelon out of the bowl its served in when she thinks no one is looking.

2. my dad still talks with his hands.

3. uncle dave is still in love with the wrong NFL football team.

4. aunt linda still avoids the camera.

5. uncle carl is still obsessed with golfing.

6. i still feel trapped inside a box when i wake up in the morning.

The Audience.

My mom said I shouldn't blog about this.

But I think its funny.

You know in old sitcoms how theres always that audience in the background? The audience always laughs at the perfect time. The funny thing about sitcoms is that the characters don't necessarily laugh at funny situations... the audience does.

I was telling my family the other day that when we have funny experiences or say funny things, I wish we wouldn't laugh. They asked why and I told them that things are funnier when only the audience laughs. My sister looked at me like I'm crazy. Well you see, I have an audience in my head that laughs at perfect situations like the ones in sitcoms. When they laugh I feel like I'm on television. I like that feeling.

My mom thinks maybe I should see a psychotherapist.

* I PROMISE THAT THIS AUDIENCE OF MINE ISN'T A RESULT OF INSANITY. I MADE UP THE LAUGHTER BECAUSE IT MAKES THINGS FUNNIER TO ME. THEY DON'T HAVE FACES OR NAMES. THEY JUST LAUGH. ITS LIKE A SITCOM.*

FBI shot me in the eye..

Now I am so dead. Now I am so dead.

I am literally the ultimate pack rat. I never throw anything away. If you walk into my room there is useless stuff everywhere.

old birthday cards

empty shoe boxes

shopping bags from unique stores

a bunch of jewelry that I never wear

ribbons and bows

headbands

a plethora of pillows and stuffed animals

empty journals

souvenirs from all over the world

card games

empty cd cases

movies that I never put back after I watched them

puzzles

lotion that I don't use

empty picture frames

empty perfume bottles

a kerosene lamp

photo albums with no pictures in them

boxes of beads and string

instruction manuals from cameras or phones that I don't have anymore

binders and old papers from classes in high school

a piggy bank with only three pennies in it

old EFY notebooks

pens, pencils, highlighters, and scissors

a spoon

glow sticks that I'll probably never use

Now I'm not saying that all of this stuff needs to be thrown away. But I think I'm trapped in this illusion that perhaps maybe one day I'll need the old things I have. Like I'm ever going to pull out the notes from middle school or my old EFY notebooks and read them? WHEN DO I HAVE TIME?! The fact is, I don't have time. So today I've been going through my stuff and getting rid of the things I don't need. [Obviously I'm not throwing away everything on that list... I think I'll wash the spoon and keep it] As I've looked through old things I found a picture that brought memories rushing back to mind :)

me. hilary. lisa.

These are my two best friends from elementary school. This picture was taken July of 2000. We were 8 years old. At the time, Hilary went by her middle name. We called her Annie. She moved to Utah after fifth grade. After Annie left, Lisa and I weren't in the same sixth grade class. Then when middle school arrived we hardly talked. We were involved in different things. Eventually Lisa moved to Colorado. Hilary and I still keep in touch, but mostly the three of us have gone our separate ways. Looking at this picture reminds me of this short lived, yet AWESOME, friendship. I can't write about all the fun we had because it simply would take to long. But we had a great time together. We played all the time after school and on the weekends. Lisa was with me when I found out my little brother was born and when we discovered that I talk in my sleep. Hilary took swim lessons with me during the summer. Both of them helped me out when I slid into the freezing river during the winter. And everyday during the school year we played together at recess. We walked around with our arms linked for the allotted half hour time slot and sang a little song that we made up.

"FBI shot me in the eye. Now I am so dead. Now I am so dead.

FBI shot me to the moon. Now I am a loony toon. Now I am a loony toon."

We were peculiar, but we were best friends, and we had a great time.

I miss you Lisa and Hilary.

I'm proud to announce my sister's wedding.

Before you begin reading, click on this link. Let the music play while you experience this incredible journey with my family.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=g2ambJ3cFGE&feature=related

Last night I had a dream that my sister got married. It was literally the happiest dream I've ever had [perhaps with the exception of my Broadway debut as Glinda working alongside Idina Menzel and other members of the Glee cast].

But my other dreams are unimportant because it's Shandi's time to shine!

It was her wedding day. Her fiancé was extremely attractive. His name was Alex and he had blonde hair. I can't describe him, but I can see him so clearly in my mind. My sister was a lucky girl.

Her wedding dress was simple.

Just like this one except with a large gold bow around the waist.

She looked absolutely gorgeous. Her hair was curled and pulled up in a beautiful design on her head.

Her colors were lavender and gold. The bridesmaids [there were three of us] wore plain lavender dresses with the same gold bow around the waist.

They looked kind of like this except lavender.

However, like many brides, my sister went a little crazy on her wedding day. [And because all of my dreams have an aspect of insanity, this fits perfectly.] She made all of the bridesmaids take off our dresses because she HAD to fix them. She pulled out colored sharpies and proceeded to draw flowers, smiley faces, peace signs, and hearts on the dresses. We didn't complain because this was her day. Actually when we put the dresses back on they were perfect!

It was time to head to the wedding. Wherever the temple was, it was quite a drive to get there from the mansion that we all got ready at. We all piled into beautiful carriages. Shandi and Alex were in the first carriage and the bridesmaids and grooms men followed closely behind. Pulling up the rear was the families of the happy couple.

We rode through rolling hills to on our way. It was a beautiful sight.

I had never seen my sister so happy.

Then we hit land mines and we all exploded. Everything was in slow motion. People flying everywhere. There was a lot of color and we all were still happy about the day even though we were dying. There was no blood [of course because it was a dream].

There was music playing while we exploded. It was a beautiful sight.

I felt like we were in a movie.

Even though it ended in disaster, this was one of the happiest days of my life.

What if...?

Sometimes I wish I could go back in time. There are so many things I'd change and do differently. Don't get me wrong, I don't by any means regret the life I've lived or resent myself for decisions I've made. But there are just things that weigh me down. Questions. How would things be different now if I made a different decision awhile ago? I shouldn't think like this. I shouldn't still be asking myself "what if.." Clearly what's done is done. The things of the past should stay in the past, and I should move on. But part of me will always wonder.

Would things be different if I never told you?

Would things be different if I apologized?

Would things be different if I hadn't given up?

Would things be different if I kept going?

I just have to tell myself to stop asking these questions. Most likely things would be different. I'm done asking stupid questions. I'm done worrying about the past. It's time to try my hardest to move forward and forget the questions that bring me down.

Goodbye questions that waste my time.

Hello new day:)

Showbusiness

I wish I was Idina Menzel

or Kristen Chenowith

or Alice Ripley.

I love theatre. Enough said.

Watching a production is awesome.

But being a part of one is EXHILARATING!!

The thrill of being on stage is beyond what I could ever explain.

I just love theatre:)

Reunition.

Every year, my summer swim team has a gathering at McDonalds to register for swim team. It was tonight. While there, my sister and I ate with our friend James. For awhile Shandi was M.I.A. so James and I had some MAJOR BONDING TIME! hahaha. He told me he was offended that he was never mentioned in my blog. I told him I was just glad that someone is reading it! I also said that I'd jump on that. Then our friend Carrie came. The three of us [plus James' sister and my sister] have been super good friends for the longest time, but we've all lost touch the past few years. However, after tonight things will be different:)

Basically we need to stay in touch now!!

ps. happy birthday Marie. I wish you were there tonight!

I would put a picture of us up here... but I can't find one. WHAT A TRAVESTY!

The feeling.

You know the feeling that you get when you accomplish something? Its like nothing can bring you down. You feel proud of yourself. What's better is that sometimes you make the people around you proud too.

But sometimes you mess up.

It sucks.

Wrap it all up and put a bow on top.

I have my last final today [and by today I mean tonight at 8pm]. Instead of studying for it like a good college student, I'm packing up to leave [and at this very moment blogging about it].

There is nothing on my walls anymore.

There are clothes and empty hangers all over my floor waiting to be packed away.

There are a few REALLY FULL trash bags that need to be taken out.

There is a bunch of random stuff on my bed and some on my desk that has no place.

There are a few sets of clothes laid out for me to use over the next few days and on the trek home.

While I dread the rest of this terrible packing process, I'm spending my time reminiscing on this past year.

When I was packing to come out here, I realized that even though I was excited, I dreaded the whole college experience. I knew I wouldn't have any money and I'd have to make all new friends and that I'd become close friends with guys only to send them on a mission and not see them for awhile [if at all]. I didn't want to leave my mom either. [Even though she's ridiculously nosy about my life and lives vicariously through me, she was still one of my closest friends.] I feared the road ahead of me. [Figuratively and literally, considering the 33 hour drive to Utah.]

When I sent my mom away on the plane, I cried. It was finally time for me to do my own thing. [Looking back, now I realize that it wasn't that hard because I know that she's always just a phone call away.] College was a HUGE adjustment. In high school, I had friends but outside of school I wasn't particularly social and I didn't go out much. Once I got here, I had to change that.

Now it's time to go and I'm looking back on all of the CRAZY things that have happened this year.

Here are a few things that I can think of [in no particular order]:

Walking back from the RB one Wednesday, Sarah and I ran into our friend Ray driving by in his Jeep. He rolled down the window and told us about a dance party that the boys in our ward were throwing that night. A bunch of us girls in the hall decided to go. We danced the night away and took loads of pictures. This was the night that we realized we had one of the best wards known to BYU.

Olivia, Sarah, Kazhia, Michelle, Shelby, and I went to play tennis in the RB. While we walked in the underground tunnel, we sang and screamed really loud... Then we realized people can hear us. Oops!

One night Sarah and I went to a dance with a bunch of other girls. We weren't feeling it so we left early. We called our friend Olivia and met up with her to hang out. The three of us were up almost all night singing and taking goofy pictures while we explored the dorms. "Momma get married today!"

The night after the first football game, a bunch of us decided to go to the bell tower to roast marshmellows. IT TURNED INTO THE BIGGEST MARSHMELLOW FIGHT OF MY LIFE! We also ran through sprinklers. And topped off the night by running back to the dorms in the pouring rain. SOAKING WET! Thats the night that Teddy accidentally stole Sarah's moose sweatshirt.

We also supported the Merrill Meansters at flag football games. Sarah and I were the team momma's and we never missed a game!

Sarah, Olivia, and I played around one night and we stuffed ourselves in the washers and dryers in the laundry room. Munchkin Sarah was the only one who fit completely.

For Halloween, my friend Dillon and I dressed up as Peter Pan and Tinker Bell. We looked super cute and I even convinced him to wear the green tights! We went trick-or-treating with Callie and Anna Marie. Afterwards we met up with some people and had a CRAZY dance party outside of Del Taco.

For Sarah's nineteenth birthday, we went black light bowling. CRAZY NIGHT! Her sister made the most glorious pumpkin chocolate chip muffins that I've ever experienced!

The first snow was on a Sunday and we took pictures while we walked up to church.

I went to the Candyland dance with Brent and Sarah went with Mitchell. ONE OF THE BEST NIGHTS OF OUR LIVES! I let Macey curl my hair and Haylee do my make up even though I never do anything special with hair or make up.

Sarah and I spent a lot of time going to the Tanner building with the 1200 boys. We also played in the snow with them and went to the dollar theatre MANY times over finals week.

I went to the Salt Lake City temple to see the Christmas lights with the ward. I spent the time with Sarah, Macey, Haylee, and Elliot. We took a ton of pictures that night while we were all dressed super cute, including engagement pictures with our polygamist husband, Elliot. "Please don't touch the natives."

I made sure I recycled every bottle I used. The first time Sarah and I recycled our many water bottles, the total came to 72. Now Sarah has a laundry basket where we put our bottles before we recycle. It really adds up.

Sunday nights at midnight was always a great time to get food. I had my first "In and Out" experience at this time. I also went to Ihop a few times and Denny's once.

For Elliot's birthday we wrapped up nineteen gifts for him then had a small celebration for him in the basement of Chipman. Later that night the boys had ice cream cake for him [which us girls went to eat].

7G1C! Inter-mural basketball for the 1200 boys. Sarah and I were their team momma's also. The first game we brought orange slices for them to eat. [I cut all the oranges with a plastic knife. That was really difficult.] One of their games, Sarah and I trash talked the other team the whole time. Yellow boy was my favorite to harass!

We went to various mission call openings in Merrill lobby. I'm so proud of all you boys!!

Girls night out! This semester we became good friends with HANNAH UTELY! We would drive around in her car blasting music and sing to the people in the cars around us.

PREFERENCE DANCE! We asked a bunch of boys to the girls choice dance. The plan was to go to the great gatsby dance [1920s attire] but we couldn't find all the right outfits so we all picked a decade to dress up as. When it came time to buy tickets to the dance they were all out. So we went to the Dr. Suess dance, but still dressed in our decades! After the dance we drove to Park City and spent the night at Hannah's aunts house. We woke up early the next morning to go to church.

I went and saw Princess and the Frog with my friend Chandeelore! [That's not his real name.] The next night we went again with some other people. The two of us quoted the movie the whole time. "She's the most beautiful firefly that ever did glow. EEEK!"

When Haylee's mom came to town a group of people went to the hotel to swim. IT WAS GREAT FUN! [even though Pat cut his head open and needed 14 staples.] After, we went to the cabin. Macy Baker and I had girl bonding time here while everyone was watching the movie.

I went to get a grilled cheese sandwich at the creamery with friends almost every night for about a month during winter semester. I'll miss that daily adventure.

I discovered that I'm so bad at cooking that I manage to ruin spaghetti. [UNFORTUNATE]

For April Fools Day, Macey, Haylee and I moved all of Sarah's stuff into the bathroom. Bed and everything. She was shocked when she got back and had no room!

OWL CITY CONCERT! [words can't describe the perfection.]

Sarah and I went to the Post Secret event at the University of Utah. Frank Warren is our hero.

Sarah, Haylee, and I went to see The Fellows play at the barn. THEY WERE AMAZING! There were also two other bands there who provided plenty of entertainment.

There is much more, but frankly I don't have time to keep writing because I'm going to IKEA with Sarah, Mike, and Topher!! Then I have to take my last test and finish packing.

It's been a good year, but now it's time to wrap it up and go home. I'll be back in four months!

"It's a beautiful day to save lives, people."

Today I finally decided to donate blood. Remember that fear of needles I mentioned in an earlier post? WELL I FINALLY FACED IT!

Here's the story.

I knew that today was the day for me to donate. I called the place that I was gonna go to on Saturday and found out the hours. Then today after I got up, ate breakfast, and showered, my sister came to get me [around 2:15] to head off to this premeditated service experience. We got there and I was FREAKING OUT. And by freaking out I mean not that much because I knew that it really isn't something to freak out over. I filled out a little form and answered a bunch of questions... The bottom line is that I don't have HIV.

THANK GOODNESS!

Then Greg [the guy who sucked my blood] took me to a room to check my temperature, blood pressure, and iron level [finger prick]. I heard that this is the worst part. We were just talking about my major and school when he put a little blue thing on my finger and pricked me. It started to bleed [I sort of felt like I was in a movie... which is weird.] Then he took some blood out of there and checked it out. It didn't hurt until after he was done testing the blood, then it just twinged [for lack of a word at all] a little bit. He told me that I'm healthy and that its time for me to donate.

We went out and he made me sit in this ridiculously comfortable blue chair. Then he checked my veins and found that my left arm would be perfect for the job. My sister sat in a chair next to me and held my hand. [That's kind of embarrassing but I'M SO AFRAID OF NEEDLES.] I thought I was gonna cry... but I didn't. Greg told me to tell him about who I thought were the top five most beautiful actors. I began.

"Hands down, Hugh Jackman, is first" Then I felt the needle go into my arm. It didn't hurt at all, so no worries. Greg told me that I may feel nauseous or light headed, but to just let him know if I did. Then he told me to continue my list while I bled. Shandi took a picture. Then I continued.

Second I said I love George Clooney. I said that Heath Ledger is beautiful in somethings, but not in my top five. Then I couldn't think of anymore at the time.

[I know now. Hugh Jackman, George Clooney, Robert Downey Jr., Patrick Dempsey, and John Krasinksi. But that's beside the point of this post.]

While I bled, he asked me how I was feeling. I said fine. Then I burst out laughing and couldn't stop. I don't know what I was laughing at, but I just laughed. [Weird out of body experience]

After I was done [apparently I bleed fast], I sat in a chair and ate goldfish and drank water. He had wrapped a purple band around my elbow [I chose purple over pink]. When I started to feel light headed, he made me put an ice pack on my neck. Once I was better, Shandi drove me back to my room.

[I drank a lot of water. And I've had to pee a lot.]

Sarah and I went outside and I just laid out and slept while she did homework. Then around 7pm, her sister, Anna, picked us up to go get Chinese food from Smiths. While we were standing in line, something scary happened to me. I was getting a headache and I felt a little nauseous so I put my hand on Sarah's shoulder. They told me to sit up on the counter because I was wobbling a little bit. I did. Then everything went black, I felt pressure on my head, and I slid off the counter. When my feet hit the floor colors came back. Then I wobbled again and sat down on the floor. I drank more water while sitting on the floor of the grocery store. Now my head really hurts and I still feel like I could throw up.Oh, and I'm really tired.

Even though I don't feel so great right now, I did an awesome thing. I can donate again on June 14th and I fully intend to. I think my mom and my sister will do it with me.

It's a beautiful day to save lives, people.