I'm proud to announce my sister's wedding.

Before you begin reading, click on this link. Let the music play while you experience this incredible journey with my family.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=g2ambJ3cFGE&feature=related

Last night I had a dream that my sister got married. It was literally the happiest dream I've ever had [perhaps with the exception of my Broadway debut as Glinda working alongside Idina Menzel and other members of the Glee cast].

But my other dreams are unimportant because it's Shandi's time to shine!

It was her wedding day. Her fiancé was extremely attractive. His name was Alex and he had blonde hair. I can't describe him, but I can see him so clearly in my mind. My sister was a lucky girl.

Her wedding dress was simple.

Just like this one except with a large gold bow around the waist.

She looked absolutely gorgeous. Her hair was curled and pulled up in a beautiful design on her head.

Her colors were lavender and gold. The bridesmaids [there were three of us] wore plain lavender dresses with the same gold bow around the waist.

They looked kind of like this except lavender.

However, like many brides, my sister went a little crazy on her wedding day. [And because all of my dreams have an aspect of insanity, this fits perfectly.] She made all of the bridesmaids take off our dresses because she HAD to fix them. She pulled out colored sharpies and proceeded to draw flowers, smiley faces, peace signs, and hearts on the dresses. We didn't complain because this was her day. Actually when we put the dresses back on they were perfect!

It was time to head to the wedding. Wherever the temple was, it was quite a drive to get there from the mansion that we all got ready at. We all piled into beautiful carriages. Shandi and Alex were in the first carriage and the bridesmaids and grooms men followed closely behind. Pulling up the rear was the families of the happy couple.

We rode through rolling hills to on our way. It was a beautiful sight.

I had never seen my sister so happy.

Then we hit land mines and we all exploded. Everything was in slow motion. People flying everywhere. There was a lot of color and we all were still happy about the day even though we were dying. There was no blood [of course because it was a dream].

There was music playing while we exploded. It was a beautiful sight.

I felt like we were in a movie.

Even though it ended in disaster, this was one of the happiest days of my life.

What if...?

Sometimes I wish I could go back in time. There are so many things I'd change and do differently. Don't get me wrong, I don't by any means regret the life I've lived or resent myself for decisions I've made. But there are just things that weigh me down. Questions. How would things be different now if I made a different decision awhile ago? I shouldn't think like this. I shouldn't still be asking myself "what if.." Clearly what's done is done. The things of the past should stay in the past, and I should move on. But part of me will always wonder.

Would things be different if I never told you?

Would things be different if I apologized?

Would things be different if I hadn't given up?

Would things be different if I kept going?

I just have to tell myself to stop asking these questions. Most likely things would be different. I'm done asking stupid questions. I'm done worrying about the past. It's time to try my hardest to move forward and forget the questions that bring me down.

Goodbye questions that waste my time.

Hello new day:)

Showbusiness

I wish I was Idina Menzel

or Kristen Chenowith

or Alice Ripley.

I love theatre. Enough said.

Watching a production is awesome.

But being a part of one is EXHILARATING!!

The thrill of being on stage is beyond what I could ever explain.

I just love theatre:)

Reunition.

Every year, my summer swim team has a gathering at McDonalds to register for swim team. It was tonight. While there, my sister and I ate with our friend James. For awhile Shandi was M.I.A. so James and I had some MAJOR BONDING TIME! hahaha. He told me he was offended that he was never mentioned in my blog. I told him I was just glad that someone is reading it! I also said that I'd jump on that. Then our friend Carrie came. The three of us [plus James' sister and my sister] have been super good friends for the longest time, but we've all lost touch the past few years. However, after tonight things will be different:)

Basically we need to stay in touch now!!

ps. happy birthday Marie. I wish you were there tonight!

I would put a picture of us up here... but I can't find one. WHAT A TRAVESTY!

The feeling.

You know the feeling that you get when you accomplish something? Its like nothing can bring you down. You feel proud of yourself. What's better is that sometimes you make the people around you proud too.

But sometimes you mess up.

It sucks.

Wrap it all up and put a bow on top.

I have my last final today [and by today I mean tonight at 8pm]. Instead of studying for it like a good college student, I'm packing up to leave [and at this very moment blogging about it].

There is nothing on my walls anymore.

There are clothes and empty hangers all over my floor waiting to be packed away.

There are a few REALLY FULL trash bags that need to be taken out.

There is a bunch of random stuff on my bed and some on my desk that has no place.

There are a few sets of clothes laid out for me to use over the next few days and on the trek home.

While I dread the rest of this terrible packing process, I'm spending my time reminiscing on this past year.

When I was packing to come out here, I realized that even though I was excited, I dreaded the whole college experience. I knew I wouldn't have any money and I'd have to make all new friends and that I'd become close friends with guys only to send them on a mission and not see them for awhile [if at all]. I didn't want to leave my mom either. [Even though she's ridiculously nosy about my life and lives vicariously through me, she was still one of my closest friends.] I feared the road ahead of me. [Figuratively and literally, considering the 33 hour drive to Utah.]

When I sent my mom away on the plane, I cried. It was finally time for me to do my own thing. [Looking back, now I realize that it wasn't that hard because I know that she's always just a phone call away.] College was a HUGE adjustment. In high school, I had friends but outside of school I wasn't particularly social and I didn't go out much. Once I got here, I had to change that.

Now it's time to go and I'm looking back on all of the CRAZY things that have happened this year.

Here are a few things that I can think of [in no particular order]:

Walking back from the RB one Wednesday, Sarah and I ran into our friend Ray driving by in his Jeep. He rolled down the window and told us about a dance party that the boys in our ward were throwing that night. A bunch of us girls in the hall decided to go. We danced the night away and took loads of pictures. This was the night that we realized we had one of the best wards known to BYU.

Olivia, Sarah, Kazhia, Michelle, Shelby, and I went to play tennis in the RB. While we walked in the underground tunnel, we sang and screamed really loud... Then we realized people can hear us. Oops!

One night Sarah and I went to a dance with a bunch of other girls. We weren't feeling it so we left early. We called our friend Olivia and met up with her to hang out. The three of us were up almost all night singing and taking goofy pictures while we explored the dorms. "Momma get married today!"

The night after the first football game, a bunch of us decided to go to the bell tower to roast marshmellows. IT TURNED INTO THE BIGGEST MARSHMELLOW FIGHT OF MY LIFE! We also ran through sprinklers. And topped off the night by running back to the dorms in the pouring rain. SOAKING WET! Thats the night that Teddy accidentally stole Sarah's moose sweatshirt.

We also supported the Merrill Meansters at flag football games. Sarah and I were the team momma's and we never missed a game!

Sarah, Olivia, and I played around one night and we stuffed ourselves in the washers and dryers in the laundry room. Munchkin Sarah was the only one who fit completely.

For Halloween, my friend Dillon and I dressed up as Peter Pan and Tinker Bell. We looked super cute and I even convinced him to wear the green tights! We went trick-or-treating with Callie and Anna Marie. Afterwards we met up with some people and had a CRAZY dance party outside of Del Taco.

For Sarah's nineteenth birthday, we went black light bowling. CRAZY NIGHT! Her sister made the most glorious pumpkin chocolate chip muffins that I've ever experienced!

The first snow was on a Sunday and we took pictures while we walked up to church.

I went to the Candyland dance with Brent and Sarah went with Mitchell. ONE OF THE BEST NIGHTS OF OUR LIVES! I let Macey curl my hair and Haylee do my make up even though I never do anything special with hair or make up.

Sarah and I spent a lot of time going to the Tanner building with the 1200 boys. We also played in the snow with them and went to the dollar theatre MANY times over finals week.

I went to the Salt Lake City temple to see the Christmas lights with the ward. I spent the time with Sarah, Macey, Haylee, and Elliot. We took a ton of pictures that night while we were all dressed super cute, including engagement pictures with our polygamist husband, Elliot. "Please don't touch the natives."

I made sure I recycled every bottle I used. The first time Sarah and I recycled our many water bottles, the total came to 72. Now Sarah has a laundry basket where we put our bottles before we recycle. It really adds up.

Sunday nights at midnight was always a great time to get food. I had my first "In and Out" experience at this time. I also went to Ihop a few times and Denny's once.

For Elliot's birthday we wrapped up nineteen gifts for him then had a small celebration for him in the basement of Chipman. Later that night the boys had ice cream cake for him [which us girls went to eat].

7G1C! Inter-mural basketball for the 1200 boys. Sarah and I were their team momma's also. The first game we brought orange slices for them to eat. [I cut all the oranges with a plastic knife. That was really difficult.] One of their games, Sarah and I trash talked the other team the whole time. Yellow boy was my favorite to harass!

We went to various mission call openings in Merrill lobby. I'm so proud of all you boys!!

Girls night out! This semester we became good friends with HANNAH UTELY! We would drive around in her car blasting music and sing to the people in the cars around us.

PREFERENCE DANCE! We asked a bunch of boys to the girls choice dance. The plan was to go to the great gatsby dance [1920s attire] but we couldn't find all the right outfits so we all picked a decade to dress up as. When it came time to buy tickets to the dance they were all out. So we went to the Dr. Suess dance, but still dressed in our decades! After the dance we drove to Park City and spent the night at Hannah's aunts house. We woke up early the next morning to go to church.

I went and saw Princess and the Frog with my friend Chandeelore! [That's not his real name.] The next night we went again with some other people. The two of us quoted the movie the whole time. "She's the most beautiful firefly that ever did glow. EEEK!"

When Haylee's mom came to town a group of people went to the hotel to swim. IT WAS GREAT FUN! [even though Pat cut his head open and needed 14 staples.] After, we went to the cabin. Macy Baker and I had girl bonding time here while everyone was watching the movie.

I went to get a grilled cheese sandwich at the creamery with friends almost every night for about a month during winter semester. I'll miss that daily adventure.

I discovered that I'm so bad at cooking that I manage to ruin spaghetti. [UNFORTUNATE]

For April Fools Day, Macey, Haylee and I moved all of Sarah's stuff into the bathroom. Bed and everything. She was shocked when she got back and had no room!

OWL CITY CONCERT! [words can't describe the perfection.]

Sarah and I went to the Post Secret event at the University of Utah. Frank Warren is our hero.

Sarah, Haylee, and I went to see The Fellows play at the barn. THEY WERE AMAZING! There were also two other bands there who provided plenty of entertainment.

There is much more, but frankly I don't have time to keep writing because I'm going to IKEA with Sarah, Mike, and Topher!! Then I have to take my last test and finish packing.

It's been a good year, but now it's time to wrap it up and go home. I'll be back in four months!

"It's a beautiful day to save lives, people."

Today I finally decided to donate blood. Remember that fear of needles I mentioned in an earlier post? WELL I FINALLY FACED IT!

Here's the story.

I knew that today was the day for me to donate. I called the place that I was gonna go to on Saturday and found out the hours. Then today after I got up, ate breakfast, and showered, my sister came to get me [around 2:15] to head off to this premeditated service experience. We got there and I was FREAKING OUT. And by freaking out I mean not that much because I knew that it really isn't something to freak out over. I filled out a little form and answered a bunch of questions... The bottom line is that I don't have HIV.

THANK GOODNESS!

Then Greg [the guy who sucked my blood] took me to a room to check my temperature, blood pressure, and iron level [finger prick]. I heard that this is the worst part. We were just talking about my major and school when he put a little blue thing on my finger and pricked me. It started to bleed [I sort of felt like I was in a movie... which is weird.] Then he took some blood out of there and checked it out. It didn't hurt until after he was done testing the blood, then it just twinged [for lack of a word at all] a little bit. He told me that I'm healthy and that its time for me to donate.

We went out and he made me sit in this ridiculously comfortable blue chair. Then he checked my veins and found that my left arm would be perfect for the job. My sister sat in a chair next to me and held my hand. [That's kind of embarrassing but I'M SO AFRAID OF NEEDLES.] I thought I was gonna cry... but I didn't. Greg told me to tell him about who I thought were the top five most beautiful actors. I began.

"Hands down, Hugh Jackman, is first" Then I felt the needle go into my arm. It didn't hurt at all, so no worries. Greg told me that I may feel nauseous or light headed, but to just let him know if I did. Then he told me to continue my list while I bled. Shandi took a picture. Then I continued.

Second I said I love George Clooney. I said that Heath Ledger is beautiful in somethings, but not in my top five. Then I couldn't think of anymore at the time.

[I know now. Hugh Jackman, George Clooney, Robert Downey Jr., Patrick Dempsey, and John Krasinksi. But that's beside the point of this post.]

While I bled, he asked me how I was feeling. I said fine. Then I burst out laughing and couldn't stop. I don't know what I was laughing at, but I just laughed. [Weird out of body experience]

After I was done [apparently I bleed fast], I sat in a chair and ate goldfish and drank water. He had wrapped a purple band around my elbow [I chose purple over pink]. When I started to feel light headed, he made me put an ice pack on my neck. Once I was better, Shandi drove me back to my room.

[I drank a lot of water. And I've had to pee a lot.]

Sarah and I went outside and I just laid out and slept while she did homework. Then around 7pm, her sister, Anna, picked us up to go get Chinese food from Smiths. While we were standing in line, something scary happened to me. I was getting a headache and I felt a little nauseous so I put my hand on Sarah's shoulder. They told me to sit up on the counter because I was wobbling a little bit. I did. Then everything went black, I felt pressure on my head, and I slid off the counter. When my feet hit the floor colors came back. Then I wobbled again and sat down on the floor. I drank more water while sitting on the floor of the grocery store. Now my head really hurts and I still feel like I could throw up.Oh, and I'm really tired.

Even though I don't feel so great right now, I did an awesome thing. I can donate again on June 14th and I fully intend to. I think my mom and my sister will do it with me.

It's a beautiful day to save lives, people.