Rude, Crude, and Socially Unacceptable

So I ticked off a customer yesterday.

Okay let me rewind. I've been taught pretty good manners from my parents and I know that its wrong to be rude to strangers... or people in general really. That being said, I never purposefully say things to offend people. At work I'm actually really good with customers and most of the people I interact with seem to enjoy our conversation. I'm also pretty good when situations become tense or uncomfortable. When that happens its my instinct to make a joke or something in order to make people laugh. Thats how I've always been and how I react. For the most part when I make people laugh during the discomfort, they always appreciate it. But last night I encountered someone who clearly didn't appreciate my humor.

I was getting a to go box/ cup for soup for this woman, and this man came up who was probably in his fifties.

He comes up and really angrily says "Are you guys short of help or something?!"

[First problem, he expects that we already know what the problem is, and instead of asking nicely for something he just gets angry.]

I looked up at him and said "I'm sorry sir, can I get you something?"

He reacted angrily again. "You ran out of napkins!"

[Second problem, he said it as if I knew. Well, sir, if I knew already, then we wouldn't be having this conversation.]

I began to say "I apologize for that I'll be out there in just a sec to fix the problem."

He interrupted me and said "There's also no paper towels in the men's bathroom!"

[Third problem, he wasn't willing to accept my apology, instead, he just interrupted to complain about something else.]

Recognizing a tense situation my instinct kicked in. I smiled and laughingly [and by that I mean more of a giggle rather than a full on laugh] I said "Oh sorry I haven't been in the men's room recently so I didn't know, but I'll make sure we get some!"

He mumbled something while he walked away.

While I was restocking the napkins for this guy, his daughter who was probably in her twenties and just in general had a bad attitude walked right up to me. I turned to her and said "Hi, can I get you something?" [If I was going to complain to someone and they talked to me like that, it would lighten my mood, but apparently she has anger problems... which probably explains why she hangs out with her old parents instead of people her own age.]

She yelled "Please, don't be so rude when you're talking to people!"

I looked up and began to apologize if I had offended anyone when she walked away.

So that's my story. I don't understand people.

Why do people get offended so easily?

Why do people complain about everything?

Why are people so lazy?

Why are people so dirty? I had to clean the dining room for closing, and I swear there was trash everywhere. If I drop a napkin, I pick it up. Apparently when other people drop a napkin they throw more on the ground to keep it company.

Also for the men, why do ya'll pee everywhere? Because I cleaned dining I had to mop up the bathrooms. DON'T MISS THE URINAL!!

Anyway, customers are stupid. I don't mean to offend, but some people are just quick to jump to the conclusion that I'm a terrible person and all I want to do is upset people. If that was true, I would have become a telemarketer.

Stupid.

[R]apid [E]ye [M]ovement

It pleases me greatly to announce that I've had yet another crazy dream to add to my list of subconscious motion pictures.

I was with five of my friends [Macey, Sarah, Haylee, Shandi, and some chick I've never seen before, but I'm positive we were close]. The six of us (who are all in college) were first in line to go see this sixth grade play. My friends were are thrilled, but I quite honestly was embarrassed to be there because I didn't want people I knew to see me in line to hang out with a bunch of elementary school kids. The play was in a cafeteria and the stage along with the area for the seats was blocked off by hedges with one entrance. When we got there the seats hadn't even been set up yet but I saw a bunch of random people I knew in high school setting up for the event. When the chairs were finally set up we sat in the front row. [Only six chairs across]. This event was quite exclusive considering that there were only about 30 seats. NO PARENTS ALLOWED. The stage wasn't really a stage either. There was a long fence built replacing one of the walls of hedges. There was a canopy attached to the fence to keep the actors dry in case of rain [even though we were inside]. The play began. The class of kids walked in and each took their place sitting on the fence. They all began saying there lines and a few of them, I noticed, had real potential as actors. But most of them were too quiet to hear. I don't remember what the play was about, but I remember some of the characters: a married couple, a Mormon girl, and a bunch of random children that all had really really terrible things going on in their lives. And by terrible I mean beaten, emaciated, or just unloved in general. I couldn't understand the plot because I only heard a few lines. Suddenly their teacher yelled out to them all that we couldn't hear them and so they were fired. They all sunk their heads and walked out of the hedged off area. A completely new cast came in to pick up where they left off. Then there was a break in time and I was sitting on the fence watching the play from on stage. In fact I wasn't just watching... I WAS IN IT! At least I think I was because I had lines. Also another thing had changed. We weren't in the cafeteria anymore. The hedged/fenced off area and everything in it was floating high in the sky over Taiwan. We were quickly moving further east. It appeared that we had begun to orbit the earth. The view was gorgeous. There were colors and clouds all around us. WE LITERALLY WERE IN A RAINBOW. My friends who were still there [now consisting of only Shandi, Sarah, and the new girl] and myself decided that this probably wasn't the best place for us to be. We pulled one of the actors in the play off stage and into the corner of the room. This actor was HUGE. He was about six and a half feet tall and extremely fat. We told him that we needed to get back on dry land. He said he might be able to help. Then he laid on his stomach and we all climbed onto his back. He pushed his body with his arms and launched himself [with us on top] right through the hedge and into the sky. We soared for a few minutes then landed in this really soft black sand. The sand was warm on our feet. We dug our toes into it when we realized it was only and inch deep. Underneath the sand was a layer of really soft plastic. The plastic was different colors and the colors were moving. If you pushed some of the sand aside it would flow right back to where it was. We made sand angels and rolled around in it revealing the colors beneath us for only a few seconds before the sand moved back. It was fun, but ultimately we knew we had to get home. Unfortunately the fat child [who was laying and basking in the sun] hadn't brought us to just dry land, he brought us to a completely different planet. He wouldn't take us back to earth so we stayed there and made sand angels hoping that someone would see the colors and come get us.

The end.

I promise I'm not on drugs. I just have really ridiculous thoughts.

Rain rain go away...

Come again when I'm not driving please.

I love you, but I love me too so I don't want to die.

K thanks.

[untitled]

I haven't blogged recently.

And it isn't that I haven't wanted to.

Or that I haven't had anything to write either.

No really I think of some really great things that I'd love to blog about and I open up a page to start writing and I just can't think of the perfect title, or how to start. Then after a few minutes of just sitting and staring at my computer, I realize that I'm kind of tired. So I take a nap instead.

So there is much to say. And since I don't want to take up a lot of space I'll tell everything that I could have possible wanted to blog about in one sentence. I hope that I can capture the AWESOMENESS of all the unfinished/unstarted blogs that I've tried to write in just one sentence!

1. I don't ever take risks, and I'm tired of playing it safe in the game of life, therefore I've decided to stop quitting the things I'm passionate about and to be a theatre education major, and I know that it seems like I change my major all the time, but this is reality now; this is what I want to do!

2. I spend most of my time worrying about money and what how I'm going to set a budget next year because when it comes to finances I'm completely clueless; as of right now I'm still really worried about paying for school.

3. I was hired to work at the testing center at BYU and I'm so excited because that is MY FAVORITE BUILDING ON CAMPUS; people think that its weird that I love it so much.

4. I want to learn Spanish.

5. I donated blood again and I felt incredible afterwards per usual.

6. I love shoes.

7. I wish I kept in touch with people better.

8. Two years is a long time, and to me it feels even longer.

9. There is someone out there, who I can't mention by name, that I REALLY REALLY dislike.

10. I recently had a family reunion with my dad's side of the family and it was such an incredible experience to see my cousins again; we had such a great time.

11. Today I had to go to driver improvement class so that I wouldn't get my license suspended, and even though it was long and boring, it turned out to be great because I met one of the newest Redskins football players and got his autograph for my brother.

Thats pretty much it. Happy summer!

I'm on a boat.

Back in the late eighties and the nineties my mom's side of the family used to have reunions at Lake Powell. We owned a house boat that we'd all pile in and stay for a few weeks. I was still really young when we stopped the reunions, but I still have some fond memories of the good times.

Today I was organizing our movies and I found A TON of video tapes from the family reunions. I found one that said LAKE POWELL 1994. I immediately quit the task ahead of me and ran upstairs. I blew the dust off the tape and popped it into the VHS. The first fifteen minutes was an edited slide show of video from the trip set to music from The Lion King. Next was almost three hours of all the video taken. After about 45 minutes I had to get back to work. But for awhile I watched the show, and my mom watched some with me.

NOW BOTH OF US ARE DYING TO GO BACK!!

Watching the tape made me laugh. There are a few things that haven't changed.

1. my sister still eats watermelon out of the bowl its served in when she thinks no one is looking.

2. my dad still talks with his hands.

3. uncle dave is still in love with the wrong NFL football team.

4. aunt linda still avoids the camera.

5. uncle carl is still obsessed with golfing.

6. i still feel trapped inside a box when i wake up in the morning.

The Audience.

My mom said I shouldn't blog about this.

But I think its funny.

You know in old sitcoms how theres always that audience in the background? The audience always laughs at the perfect time. The funny thing about sitcoms is that the characters don't necessarily laugh at funny situations... the audience does.

I was telling my family the other day that when we have funny experiences or say funny things, I wish we wouldn't laugh. They asked why and I told them that things are funnier when only the audience laughs. My sister looked at me like I'm crazy. Well you see, I have an audience in my head that laughs at perfect situations like the ones in sitcoms. When they laugh I feel like I'm on television. I like that feeling.

My mom thinks maybe I should see a psychotherapist.

* I PROMISE THAT THIS AUDIENCE OF MINE ISN'T A RESULT OF INSANITY. I MADE UP THE LAUGHTER BECAUSE IT MAKES THINGS FUNNIER TO ME. THEY DON'T HAVE FACES OR NAMES. THEY JUST LAUGH. ITS LIKE A SITCOM.*

FBI shot me in the eye..

Now I am so dead. Now I am so dead.

I am literally the ultimate pack rat. I never throw anything away. If you walk into my room there is useless stuff everywhere.

old birthday cards

empty shoe boxes

shopping bags from unique stores

a bunch of jewelry that I never wear

ribbons and bows

headbands

a plethora of pillows and stuffed animals

empty journals

souvenirs from all over the world

card games

empty cd cases

movies that I never put back after I watched them

puzzles

lotion that I don't use

empty picture frames

empty perfume bottles

a kerosene lamp

photo albums with no pictures in them

boxes of beads and string

instruction manuals from cameras or phones that I don't have anymore

binders and old papers from classes in high school

a piggy bank with only three pennies in it

old EFY notebooks

pens, pencils, highlighters, and scissors

a spoon

glow sticks that I'll probably never use

Now I'm not saying that all of this stuff needs to be thrown away. But I think I'm trapped in this illusion that perhaps maybe one day I'll need the old things I have. Like I'm ever going to pull out the notes from middle school or my old EFY notebooks and read them? WHEN DO I HAVE TIME?! The fact is, I don't have time. So today I've been going through my stuff and getting rid of the things I don't need. [Obviously I'm not throwing away everything on that list... I think I'll wash the spoon and keep it] As I've looked through old things I found a picture that brought memories rushing back to mind :)

me. hilary. lisa.

These are my two best friends from elementary school. This picture was taken July of 2000. We were 8 years old. At the time, Hilary went by her middle name. We called her Annie. She moved to Utah after fifth grade. After Annie left, Lisa and I weren't in the same sixth grade class. Then when middle school arrived we hardly talked. We were involved in different things. Eventually Lisa moved to Colorado. Hilary and I still keep in touch, but mostly the three of us have gone our separate ways. Looking at this picture reminds me of this short lived, yet AWESOME, friendship. I can't write about all the fun we had because it simply would take to long. But we had a great time together. We played all the time after school and on the weekends. Lisa was with me when I found out my little brother was born and when we discovered that I talk in my sleep. Hilary took swim lessons with me during the summer. Both of them helped me out when I slid into the freezing river during the winter. And everyday during the school year we played together at recess. We walked around with our arms linked for the allotted half hour time slot and sang a little song that we made up.

"FBI shot me in the eye. Now I am so dead. Now I am so dead.

FBI shot me to the moon. Now I am a loony toon. Now I am a loony toon."

We were peculiar, but we were best friends, and we had a great time.

I miss you Lisa and Hilary.