Wednesday, December 1, 2010

I'm and Iron Chef

There is only one thing you should know about me.

I CAN'T COOK TO SAVE MY LIFE.

enough said.

But really. Ask my roommate. When we first got out here, I wanted to impress her with my baking skills. So I got a brownie recipe from my mom and attempted to make brownies from scratch.

The key word in this story is attempted.

It was pretty disgusting to say the least. And that's saying a lot considering i'll eat anything.
So now, all I eat is packaged stuff.. (Ramen Noodles). I'm a typical college student... clearly. Today I decided to change it up a bit. Here's the story:

I make a killer red sauce for spaghetti. It's a recipe I stole from my mom (who stole it from her friend). But I didn't want to make red sauce tonight, because I didn't want spaghetti.
I did want pasta though.
I made pasta shells. I needed to think of something to put on them.
So I decided to improvise.
I sauteed mushrooms in olive oil and covered them in salt and Italian seasoning.
After the pasta was done, I coated it in my simple spread.

As you can imagine, the finished product was actually kind of boring.

I came to a few conclusions about what to change.
1. It needs more salt/Italian seasoning.
2. I should sautee onions along with the mushrooms.
3. I should mix up the olive oil/ seasoning before I put everything in the skillet.
4. Perhaps I should put chicken or sausage in the sauce.
5. It needs cheese.
6. Perhaps it could use some other things added to the seasoning blend.

So here's what I've decided. I'm going to perfect the recipe. I'll try different pasta. I'll try baking it. I'll try adding tomatoes. I am going to try all kinds of combinations to make this perfect. I'll keep you posted obviously.

The moral of the story is to try new things. Maybe someday I will be the next Iron Chef!


*Currently listening to "The Sword & The Pen" by Regina Spektor

Sunday, November 28, 2010

This is a new level of ridiculous.

The other night I had a dream.

Dwight K Schrute asked me to marry him.
REALLY MICAELA!! THIS IS WHAT YOUR DREAMING ABOUT?!?!

So this is how it happened. Dwight and I were really good friends. We hung out a few times. Then one day while we were hanging out he pulled out a ring and proposed. I was SHOCKED! Obviously, I didn't love him!! But it was seriously the most beautiful ring of my life. I loved the ring so much that I told him I'd think about it at work. While I was at the testing center [which is where I work], my roommate told me that obviously I couldn't marry him because IT'S DWIGHT! I agreed eventually, arguing that the ring was so perfect. I wanted to marry the ring.
Then Dwight came in to take a test. When I handed him the test, I gave him the ring back with it and told him that it was so clear to me that I didn't want to marry him. He was upset because now he was gonna do badly on his test.
Then the next boy came up to get a test and he said

"Did I really just hear you tell Dwight that you wouldn't marry him?"
"Yes."
"Good. Wanna go out this Friday?"

That's when I woke up.

Friday, November 12, 2010

Relocated

Dear lovely people,
My new found love, Frank Friday, has moved. No longer does he abide in this abode. It's just time to move onto better things, I guess. However, he does love visitors as much as I do. Check him out at his new home. I think that'd be much appreciated.
Love,
Lovely person.

Wednesday, November 10, 2010

The Key is Optimism!

I decided today that no matter what happens to me in life, I'm going to be happy. I refuse to be a negative nancy. You're probably wondering what brought about this sudden resolve for optimism. It's just something I've been thinking about lately, I guess.
Last year in school I wasn't always the happiest person. I was often pessimistic. I complained about cold weather. I complained about classes. I complained about boys. I don't know how I had friends. I wouldn't have been friends with me.
This year, however, I've been much happier. I was diagnosing my change in viewpoint. I think it might have a lot to do with where I live and who I spend my time with.
I don't complain about those things anymore.
Why should I complain about cold weather? Just bundle up more, silly. I love snow and I can't have snow unless it's cold outside. Besides, after tap class I welcome the cold!
I don't complain about classes anymore because I've learned that if I want to do well I should sleep at night and work/play during the day. IMAGINE THAT!
I don't complain about boys anymore because it isn't fair. They're only human. And trust me, they find us just as frustrating as we do them.
After I decided this all today, I took the trash out. On my way back I saw a girl who needed help with her groceries. She didn't see me. At first I ignored her and started to walk away. Then I thought "You idiot! Go help her!" That's when I turned around to help her. Not only did I feel good about what I did, but I made a new friend!

We should all be more like this guy!
"I did not provoke the fight, so I feel no remorse for what i was forced to do. We were arguing, and seeing that I was right and he was wrong, he decided to fight to cover his stupidity.

He swung at me first but being in the top of condition, I was able to block the punch neatly with my head. Whereupon I jumped to the ground, knocking him down on top of me. Then I placed my ear in his mouth and poked his finger several times with my eye. His teeth hurt so from the strength of my ear that he became irate and tried to kick me. But I cleverly blocked the onslaught with my ribs and face.

I scrambled to my feet and ran to my car in the hopes that I could get away and save this man from my deadly hands. Before I could start the car, he pulled me from the still open door. I then proceeded to swing at him, but only managed to hit myself in the head. To this I said, "What is this, two against one?"

That was the final straw- I lost all control. There will be no mercy!!! Taking him in my death grip, I pounded him in the knee with my stomach. Then I hit him two or three times in the fist with my teeth. He had had it. I could tell. After that he didn't even try to pick me up off the ground. He was too chicken."

Friday, November 5, 2010

Frank Fridays

I feel like I'm turning into the Kron family's adopted sister.
Here's how it began.
Ruth started "Wordless Wednesdays" for her blog.
Then Sarah (my roommate/direct link to the inner workings of the Kron family) began "Tickle me Thursdays."
Last night Sarah told me that Anne started up "Spontaneous Sundays" and Daniel began "Musical Mondays."

SHE TOLD ME THAT OBVIOUSLY I HAVE TO JOIN IN THE FUN!

So now begins Frank Fridays. Here's where I say exactly what I'm thinking about something specific with COMPLETE HONESTY!

Texting while driving.

So I was on my way to my voice lesson today and there was a bit of traffic. I looked over at the car next to me because her reactions were super delayed and it was making me nervous. SHE WAS TEXTING!

Hello people! Do you not realize how stupid this is?

My friend back home wrote a persuasive paper on this subject. Studies show that people who text and drive are equally, if not more delayed in their reaction time as those who have been drinking.

PEOPLE DIE FROM TEXTING AND DRIVING!

Unless you want to end up in a car that now looks like this, please be safe and don't text and drive. Life isn't too short, but it will be if you aren't safe. Nothing is so urgent that you should put yours and other people's lives in danger to fix it. Pull over and deal with your business off the road.

Tuesday, November 2, 2010

Inception meets anchorman.

I had probably one of my most confusing dreams of my life last night.
It was absolutely wonderful!

For the first part, I was an outsider looking in.
There was a reporter. She looked a lot like me, but not exactly. She was thin and blonde, but definitely taller than me. And she was much prettier. This reporter had a mentor. The mentor had short brown curly hair. She was fairly short herself and also kind of plump. Not huge, but not particularly thin either. They didn't work for any news station. The mentor used to be great, but she sort of fell off the map. This young reporter wanted to make it big so the two of them would run around chasing stories so that maybe one day her dream would come true. They got a tip about a haunted house in the middle of nowhere and they decided to check it out.

The two of them went to this house in the middle of nowhere. Just by looking at this place you would never guess that it was haunted. It was fairly large and extremely colorful! In fact it looked fake because there was so much color. The young reporter decided that it didn't look haunted, but since they got a tip from a good source they should check it out. There's bound to be a good story behind this place. They walk up and knock on the front door. A beautiful woman answers. She was wearing a nice shirt and jeans and and apron. She was holding a bowl and plastic spoon and mixing something to put in the oven later. The reporter told her that they received a tip about this house being haunted and asked if she was the resident of this place. The beautiful woman responded that she was and said she had a roommate. A man appears behind her. He looked exactly like George from Grey's Anatomy. The reporter asked if he noticed anything haunted about the house. He said sometimes his stuff goes missing, but that's probably his own fault. Other than that, everything is fine.
The reporters asked to have a look around. The two residents welcome them in. Everything is colorful. All of the walls are painted a different color. Literally the only thing white in this place was the beautiful woman's plastic spoon. But even that looked sort of blue. Something else weird about this place was that everything was blurry. Nothing really had any definite shape. For example I could be standing in the kitchen and looking at the stove. I know that it's a stove and it sort of has the outline of a stove but it doesn't REALLY look like a stove. It also happens to be pink. Everything was blurry and indistinct like this. Not everything was pink though. The reporter began snapping pictures, although nothing really showed up in the pictures because everything was SO blurry. They continued exploring other rooms in the house.

For the next part I am seeing from George's point of view.
I [George] am huddled in the corner of my room, shaking. I'm scared because there is someone after me. Suddenly I see a vertical strip in the wall become extra blurry and I see my roommate run through the wall. She is charging after me holding the plastic spoon from before. She screams and slashes the spoon through my body. I look down and see my stomach become blurry like everything else. Then I feel like I'm falling. When I land I am standing in the most colorful place on earth. I am at a park and there are children and families running around. Everyone is so happy. I forget everything that just happened and everyone in the life before I was here. I introduce myself to someone and join in on a picnic.
[This place is sort of like limbo from inception except MUCH MUCH more colorful and there are so many people here.]

For the next part I am seeing from the point of view of the young reporter.
My mentor is not with me. I am yelling at a man in a news room. I tell him that we need to check out this house more in depth. I tell him that there is a woman there who can walk through walls and is attacking anyone who knows about her. She attacks with a plastic spoon and when she slashes people she sends them to another world where they forget everything about her and begin a new life. I tell him that her roommate's life is in danger. The man calmly tells me to get in touch with her roommate and have him confirm my story. I tell him I can't because he's already missing. The man tells me that I should move on to doing other things and forget all about this story. I argue that my life is in danger now too. He dismisses me and kicks me out of his office.

For the next part of the story I am an outsider looking in.
We're back in limbo. I look to see George talking to the mentor. They are discussing how they recognize each other but they have no idea at all where from.
Then during this scene I switch to George's point of view.
I look over and see a beautiful woman appear from a hole in the atmosphere. I don't recognize her at first, but then I realize that it's my roommate, the woman who attacked me and sent me here. Suddenly everything about my past life comes back to me. She comes at me with her plastic spoon. [Apparently she was going to send me to a new limbo before the young reporter can come down here and save us all. I'm not sure how I know that.] I grab a book that happens to be on the bench next to me. As she charges I hold out the book and stab it right through her stomach. I twist it. Then I pull it out. I repeat this hoping that it will help me. As I stab and twist I see her face distorting.

Then I woke up.

Saturday, October 30, 2010

Dedicated to my roommate...

I don't actually think you're Satan.

most of the time.

JUST KIDDING!! you are wonderful.

For all of you reading this, i have the greatest roommate in the world. But I'm mean to her when I sleep. Last night she came to bed two hours after I went to bed. While she was kneeling on her bed praying I began this conversation with her.

[note: I was completely incoherent because I WAS ACTUALLY ASLEEP!! but I do recall this happening and I asked her about it later.]

"Are you standing on your bed?"

She said "No."

"Oh. You look like an angel right now. Except not because you're actually SATAN!"

Then I rolled over away from her.

"By the way. I lost my phone."

Then I fell back asleep.
I'm sorry, Sarah. I LOVE YOU AND YOU ARE NOT SATAN!!!